Childish

Chapter 36: Monster

It's been days when Isuzu-nii was saved

I was so happy that she looks fine now

But I didn't wanted to visit Isuzu-nii

I will be a burden to her

Am I a burden to everyone

Ni-San is getting worried about me

So does Haru and the others

I still have no right to ask if she was ok

Because I was the one who was scared to tell anyone of how she was suffered for a long time

It aches of how weak I was. I couldn't save her she needed my help

The times I gave her food. I can still hear her whimper those endless tears of sorrow

I was at school reading a book that I took interest too

I was going down the staircase when I see familiar faces below

"Kure-Chan it's nice to see you" Ms. Honda greeted

"It's nice to see you to Ms. Honda" I smiled at her

"Do you want to join us Kure-Chan we're going to buy ice-cream cake and we're going to Shii-chan's house " Momiji said happily

"Ice cream cake?" Ms. Honda asked and started sulking

"She thinks that an ice cream cake is a luxurious food" Haru said beside me

I nodded in agreement I look at Momiji for a while

Im still shock of how he grown his getting taller than me he might reach the same height as Ni-San when he grew up to an adult

"No thank you" I said declining politely

"Why? I thought you were free today you already finished your paperwork" Yuki asked

"I found a book that I found interest on I couldn't stop itching to read it but I left at my room and Machi was the one who recommended it to me" I lied

I already finished the book recommended to me it was amazing it made feel better for a while but I still ended up feeling lonely again

And the real reason that I declined the offer to go to Shigure Sensei's house is

I still feel ashamed being with them especially Haru. He cares about Isuzu-nii more than you think

So I couldn't imagine how much I made him feel hurt about keeping the secret at Isuzu-nii's state

Even though I keep smiling that doesn't means I'm happy

They didn't see through me

I've been hiding everything

All of the pain, sadness and guilt on a big fake smile

Today was the death anniversary of my mom and Ms. Honda's

I didn't kept my promise to Ms. Honda of visiting her mother's grave at her death anniversary

"it's fine Kure-Chan" she said

"I'm really sorry I made a promise afterall" I said looking down

"it's fine your health is the upmost priority" she said through the phone

"Thank you for your understanding Ms. Honda Your very kind" I said

"Your also kind Kure-Chan" she said

"You should prioritize your health Kure-Chan" she continue I told her that I have a headache that's why I couldn't come

"Goodbye be careful Ms. Honda" I said