Broken

Blades

We've marked our skin,
There's no going back.
She told me the truth,
I think I might crack.

Lifting up her sleeve, she showed me the one thing I was hoping for there not to be. Laurie had cut herself and not just once. These cuts filled her arm for all that I could see, they were red and they were not light either. These cuts were deep and painful as I felt from past experiences. After showing me these I almost just dropped to my knees and started crying, and I would have too if I wouldn't have drawn everyone's attention to her and I.

Once we were alone I asked her to re-show me and I asked her why she did it.
"Because," she answered me with.
"That's not a good enough reason, you don't just do that to yourself for nothing," I reassured her. This was one of those moments that we were serious and it nothing could ruin it. Slowly and surely she told me more and more of her story, she told me of her experience with Jake. Jake was her boyfriend well ex at the moment, they had been going out and then he broke up with her for another girl. Laurie was heartbroken and felt she couldn't go on. Next on her list was her looks, she thought she was ugly although she was one of the most beautiful girls I know and not just her outside look.

Next we came to my other friend Billie, her and I fall out a lot but it's made our friendship stronger in the end. It was during our break time at cadets, she asked to talk to me in private - these conversations never ended well. - Billie seemed different, she was shaking and was uneasy. For the second time I had been shown the worst, Billie had shown me her marks however they weren't as deep as Laurie's. Again I almost cried, I kept it together whilst in the main room but I ran through into the toilets and I burst, letting all the emotions and pain out, I felt surprisingly better now.

Time went on and I thought about the both of them all night. We came to the end of cadets and as I was walking home I still thought of them, especially Laurie, she was my best friend at cadets and the one I turned to if I needed help. I got home, got undressed and into my pyjamas although I was still bugged by what I had found out. It crossed my mind to cut myself again but then I thought what makes this different to what I'm worrying about. I lay in bed tossing and turning until I decided enough was enough, I grabbed my pencil sharpener blade and sliced my arm. I was used to the pain by now and it didn't sting as much as it used to. It wasn't as deep as some of my others have been but it still was pretty deep. As I looked at my arm I noticed my other scars had started to heal, I was relived at this point because now I could wait and use my arm as a blank canvas. I carefully lay in bed leaving my arm as the last thing to go down and turned my lamp off for the night.