Hold On, I Still Want You

Hold On

     I stood on the side of the overpass looking down upon all of the cars speeding by if I were to jump from here, no one would be able to stop in time and I'd be in too small pieces for anyone to pick up or even put back together. I wouldn't be able to be saved. That was the goal originally yet why was I scared of jumping? I wanted to die, they'd said I should die yet why wasn't I dead yet? Taking a deep breath I began to climb onto the outer edge of the fence, slowly making my way to the center of the overpass.

       I looked up because I'd heard a car get a bit closer only to see a car pull over, "hey lovely, you're okay. It's okay. It doesn't have to end like this. You don't have to die. It'll be okay. There's help. There's hope. There's light. It'll be okay. Promise. C'mon, just a bit over on this side..." a teenage girl, not much older than I was said, coaxing me back onto the road. Back to somewhere safe. Somewhere without the danger of losing a nobody.

      "Why do you care anyway?" I said, my voice breaking from the strain it took to not burst into tears. She didn't need to see me that vulnerable. Besides, it wasn't like she cared anyway, no one did. They pretended to, in order to look good in front of their friends and family but they truly didn't give a damn. "Because I've been here before. I know how badly it hurts. You feel like you've been left out. No one would miss you. No one truly cares. No one wants you around. You are needed. There are so many people who live because of you. They live for you. You're an amazing person, c'mon, you can do this. Not too much farther. That's it, c'mon..." getting off of the fence I ran over to her, hugging her tightly, finally letting the tears fall. She gently whispered words of encouragement in my ear whilst holding me close. "You're okay. Come on, I want to show you something." She gently led me to the passenger side of her car and helped me in than getting into the driver's seat she started to drive.

             We drove for a bit in silence before I asked quietly, afraid of being a nuisance, "where are we going?" "Hm? Oh. Thought I'd take you to a place I like to go to, I consider it my safe place. Thought you'd like it and maybe we could talk for a bit, what'd you think? Now that I think about it though I should've asked you before... What if you hate it?..." she started spiraling into the never ending hole of anxiety. I'd been there before, still was going there, it was a dark place I wouldn't wish upon anyone. No matter who or what or when. Nobody deserved it, it was tiring. Draining. Too much and yet too little. It took up so much of your energy that it should've been a workout. Gently touching her hand, the one nearest to me, I said gently "it's okay. I love the idea. Thank you. I'm sure I'll love it. I can't hate anything you show me. You just saved my life. You saved my family from having to plan a funeral. From them having to pay for a casket. You did so much why could I hate anything you show me?" She smiled gratefully and muttered, "thank you..." "I mean it. You're amazing." "I may not see it but it means a lot, thank you, hun. You're amazing too" she said, her eyes filled with tears. I gently drew circles with my thumb, "it's okay to cry you know. I won't judge. It means you're strong, not weak. When one allows themselves to cry it means they're strong. Not weak, promise."