Ch 7
Because When It's You It Feels Like A Violent Homicide
While I do believe that continuing on in this selfish, merciless world would be nothing but endless torture, something still ties me to it. I thought and thought and thought long and hard to figure it out, I have no one to count on, to love, and I've never been tied to material things. Even the sweet unknowns of the future that always seemed to pull my mind away from the chaos of the present, suddenly lost all their value and I was once again left alone with nothing. You came along however and you saved me from myself, and for that I will forever love you, but it is for that same reason that I will always have hate for you because how could you come into my life and become something so important and then leave. I hurt so damn much because of that. You waltzed right in and pulled me up from my life of brokenness, gave me hope, loved me. made me feel like the most important person in the planet, and then left as if it all was just a lie and completely shattered me. The rest of the world constantly telling you you're nothing hurts so much less then when it comes from you, because when its you it feels like a violent homicide. But don't get me wrong if I had to get my life ruined all over again, I wouldn't hesitate to let you ravage me. For you I would sacrifice everything, I would give up every fiber of my being if it meant that I could be with you once again.
Ch 8
I Would Imminently Slip Into Quietus
My head pounds from the never relenting cold, I can feel the warmth from my meal slowly wearing off and being replaced with a growing chill. No matter how much tighter I hug myself somehow the cold manages to slip through. Just like everything else in my life, like you, it slipped away and I was left alone once again. I hadn't realized it but I had for some unknown reason walked to that wooden park bench right next to the river that we used to visit so many times before. We would spend the majority of our summer nights gazing at the stars on this bench or early spring morning when you drag me out of bed to feed the ducks. You used to be such the early bird, waking me up to watch the morning sun rise, I never minded though because ever moment spent with you was something I cherished. The bench had now grown a little worn from the weather and the once amicable river bed was littered with trash. It's such a shame what how quickly people can ruin something special. I dusted off what I could with my frozen fingers on the bench and sat down, slowly my eyes began to close and for once I fully understood the little match girl story, as my last match went out. Only difference between I and the sweet child is I have no angel coming to save me. It was on that bench where I first fell in love and it would be this bench that I would imminently slip into quietus.
