To My Dearest

8.

Why?

Why did you hurt me like this?

You know that I trusted you.

But you betrayed that trust.

I finally thought that I had someone.

Someone who wouldn't hurt me.

Someone who wouldn't leave me.

All I feel is pain.

But it's my fault.

I knew that if I went down that road again the only outcome for me would just be heartbreak and pain.

But still I did it.

And now here I am.

Standing in my bathroom with a razor in my hand.

Cut

Cut

Cut

I can hear the voices in my head urging me to either slice the smooth skin or just end it all.

I promised myself that I wouldn't do it under any circumstances.

But now I don't think I can take it anymore.

I need to do it, it's my only form of release.

I never learn do I?

Things keep on repeating.

I keep on walking the same path.

But I still haven't learnt my lesson.

I'm so stupid.

Why does this happen every time?

Am I that unlikable?

Don't I deserve happiness too?

Must I go through sufferings so that everyone else can be happy?

I just want to know why.