Depression

chapter 22

So this is more of a note journal whatever. I'm so tempted to just kill myself. I can't do this. The boy that I talked about, the one that made me happy, he's being so mean to me. He's also the one who said this was an act. People have said that I'm a freak, retard, emo, fat , ugly. I can't take it, I cant. I want to be gone. I want to go to heaven and be a memory. My mammaws sick extremely and if she dies I won't be able to cope . she is everything to me. I want people to stop acting as if they care, cause they obviously don't. All my friends hate me now and I have like 1 person left and she might also be fine soon to. We can be angels together. This isn't a suicide note, but it is a confession. I want it all to end. If in a week or so, I have no activity, you know what happened. I'll probably put my note on here because my family could delete this book and forget about me. They could move on. They have more kids. I just want to die. Its terrible, I want to die! I'm not joking I want to end it all. But I'm trying to stay here for the few people who actually give a sh*t. People think im weird cause I love bands more than I love them but they make me happier than they do so. This is not goodbye yet. It might be soon though. So yeah