My Boyfriend's Girlfriend

nineteen

All too soon, I had to return to my miserably false reality.

The moment I stepped out of the shower on Monday morning, I wished with every fiber of my being that I could go back to being inside of her car. I could hear Danny's voice wafting up from the kitchen, and it made me sick to my stomach. My insides churned at the idea of having to play pretend with Danny, especially after spending yesterday with Tessa so authentically ourselves, and the idea of being anywhere near Danny made me nearly spit up my toothpaste as I tried to get ready.

"Why did you kiss me back?" She had asked me after we'd resumed the movie.

"You make my life interesting."  I'd told her truthfully.

I groaned as I closed my bedroom door behind me, knowing Danny had heard the water of the shower shut off. I didn't know how much longer I'd be able to do this with him, it wasn't fair to my feelings at all. Or Tessa's, for that matter.

"You already are interesting."

I unwrapped the damp towel from my body and grabbed for my phone that was on the charger, hoping another notification had come through while I got showered. I'd woken up to a snapchat notification from Tessa, she'd sent me a picture of her Friday the 13th socks. It was nice just to be thought of, knowing she was including me in her favorite things. I couldn't think of any time Danny had included me in his things, he'd just always assumed they weren't something I'd have any interest in.

I sent her a snap of Tony, sleeping on top of my outfit for the day. I was honestly never good at keeping up with the app, so she was lucky I'd even sent her anything. I shooed him off my skirt and turtleneck combo, and got dressed while I distractedly watched my phone for any activity. Luckily, a text came through almost immediately after, and I buttoned my skirt as quickly as I could.

I can't wait to meet your dog

I grinned while reading her words off my phone screen. I wanted to invite her over, and show her my space. It wasn't anything like hers, but it was mine. The lilac walls, photo collages of my favorite people, my vintage VHS collection...it was mine. Small, cozy and cleaner than the rest of the house, I always felt at peace in my room.

There was a knock at the door, and I froze for a moment, praying to whatever God would still have me, that it wasn't Danny. Granted, if my mom were here, she would never let Danny up here without her, but I wasn't taking any chances right now.

"One sec!" I called out, and quickly jammed my phone in my corduroy skirt pocket. I heard the click of the latch and cursed under my breath as the door opened anyway. Relief washed over me in an instant though, as I noticed the familiar bun that normally sat on top of my mom's head.

"Sorry, honey." My mom quickly glanced behind her, and shut the door. She had a stack of my jeans in her hands, but I could tell her mind was anywhere but the denim she was carrying. She quietly trekked over to my dresser and opened up the bottom drawer, where she neatly tucked the pants away. She stood up and hesitated for a moment, and I knew by the look on her face that she wanted to ask me something important.

"What's wrong?" I asked her, as she closed the drawer with her calf, and turned to face me.

"I should be asking you that question, shouldn't I?" She asked me, and I furrowed my brow. I realized as soon as I'd asked, that she had to be talking about our last conversation about Danny. She had to be wondering why he was here to pick me up, when I'd just told her we weren't really doing well. "Is everything okay with you, Abby?" She peered at me with a cocked brow, and I knew I wasn't getting out of this as easily as I had the last time. I sighed, and I was flustered as my eyes instantly pricked with tears, just thinking about coming clean to my mom. I had never been so closed off from her in my life, and it was eating at me to go behind her back like I had been.