company. | jori

Two: Flashing Lights

Jade

I glance at the rear view mirror and apply some lipgloss, looking over at Tori who was practically squirming in the passenger seat, my eyebrows bent in confusion.

"You good?" I ask, not really caring about the answer so much as knowing it's what I'm supposed to say. I don't say things I don't mean, but I do understand the concept of social niceties. Sort of.

She just nods and I roll my eyes. Whatever. If she's not good she had the chance to tell me; she can't get mad at me if she doesn't want to go to this party because she's had every opportunity to let me know. I watch her buckle, making a big show of it, probably to make me feel bad about not buckling my own seatbelt; but I just ignore it.

We're on our way to the party when my music stops and a call cuts through. Beck. I'm about to press answer before I remember Tori's right next to me.

"Don't talk," I say to her, not giving her time to argue or even agree before I answer the call. "Hey." I recognize my own voice as cold, often times I make sure it sounds that way, but Beck knows that. He doesn't take offense to it, he accepts me the way I am and takes whatever I dish out.

"Hey!" His voice is cheery through my car speakers and I can hear the faint sound of Christmas music playing and the bustling of his family in the background.

"What's up?"

"I didn't get to call you yet today. I didn't want you to get mad again." He explains and I press my lips together.

Getting mad at my boyfriend for not calling me for one day? Not my best look. I glance over at Tori who's eyebrows are furrowed at me and I roll my eyes to play it off. I don't want to tell him I haven't even thought about him all day, though it's true.

I've been busy with Tori and he honestly hasn't crossed my mind; especially not enough to get mad at him or miss him. Vega was a good distraction. But if I told Beck I don't care and wasn't thinking about him I can't imagine it going well. So I grit my teeth and reply as if I were at home waiting for his arrival, like every other day. Thankful he can't see my face as I talk.

"Good. I've been thinking about you all day, nothing here is worth my time without you," I say not thinking much about it. Because it's true. I do most things in this city with Beck. We go out to eat, and hangout with friends, go to the movies, concerts, parties- Parties.

I look over at Tori who's shifted her attention to look out the window, no longer allowing me to see her reaction to what's going on. I figure what I said probably hurt her, but I cant find it in me to care much. What I said is true, why would I lie to make her feel better? I'm treating this call like any other call with Beck, just this time we happen to have an audience he doesn't know about.

"I miss you, I'll be home before you know it. We can spend New Year's together with all of our friends, it'll be great," I can hear his smile through the phone and I fight back one of my own. He has a way of making things okay and grounding me, I can't deny that.

Home. He'll be home soon. Because his home is with me. Whether or not he says it, I know it's what he means. Because I know him, and he knows me, and I can't fight back the smile on my lips like I thought I could.

"I miss you more," My voice is soft and I forget for a moment that Tori is in the car with me, hearing everything I'm saying. But if it's between keeping up appearances for Vega or being vulnerable and loving with Beck?