Breathe

Chapter 7

I had never had someone in my life that stayed. Once people found out about me they left. I'm so complicated. Everything about me is so toxic. I didn't want Austin to have to suffer through that. I didn't want someone else to leave. I didn't know if I could go through that again. It had been two weeks since I'd seen Austin. After my suicide attempt I was put in a mental hospital. I liked it. There were people there that were just like me. I made a few friends there actually. I met a girl named Allison. We talked a lot and we exchanged numbers so that we could talk after the program was over. When it was my time to leave I got into the car and my parents drove us back home. I hadn't talked to them in a while. I think they were still in shock to know that I was almost gone. I got out of the car and took out my suitcase. I looked over at Austin's house. His car was in the driveway so I knew he was home. This person saved my life. I at least needed to say thank you. But I didn't know how. I walked into my house and went into my room. It was different. It was clean and organized. I liked it. I started unpacking and my mom stood in the doorway of my room.
"Well,how was it?" She asked.
"Good." I replied simply.
"Spencer why didn't you tell us?"
"Tell you what?"
"That you were doing things like this. "
"Do you not remember sitting by my hospital bed last month? You did know. "
"We thought that you were done with that. You got medication for that and a therapist. You were happy." I had finished putting everything away and I was ready to go see Austin.
"People fake being happy. " I replied. I walked down the road to Austin's house. I walked up the front porch steps and stood in front of the door. My stomach had this funny feeling in it. I knocked on the door. A few seconds later Austin appeared behind the door.
"Hey." He said.
"Hi. Um, can I talk to you?" I asked shyly.
"Yeah...MOM ILL BE BACK IN 2 HOURS." He yelled and walked outside. "Shall we?" He asked. We started walking down the street towards the park. I knew he could tell I was trying to say something but I wasn't ready and he knew that.
"So how've you been?," he asked breaking the silence.
"Um,I've been ok. What about you?" I asked.
"Been pretty good. The neighborhood isn't the same without you though." He said.
"But you don't even know me." I answered.
"I don't have to. Well I actually do know some of you." He stated.
"Not all though." I corrected.
"You're right. Not all. But I'd like to know all of you." Was he flirting with me? No. He wasn't that's stupid. No guy would ever want me. Especially him.
"I don't know if that's a good idea." I replied.
"Why not?" He asked. I knew he was trying to get me to open up to him and that's just something I don't do. He was trying though. I could tell.
"I'm just very toxic I guess. Hard to deal with." I replied.
"Nah,I doubt that. I think I could handle you." He said winking which made me smile. We continued walking and talking about our families,school,and just things about each other. I had fun. But I wasn't ready to consider him a friend. Not yet. It became dark outside and we found ourselves by my front door. Before I walked inside I turned around,looked into those big green eyes and said,"Thank you Austin." And with that he simply said,"You're welcome." I then walked into the door and as he left he said,"Goodnight Spencer."
"Goodnight," I replied with a smile. I then closed the door and ran upstairs. I decided to take a shower and go to bed. I was tired and I needed to think about becoming friends with Austin. I wasn't fully normal yet and I wasn't about to hurt him because of that. I was almost actually happy tonight. But there was just something inside that kept that from coming out. I felt the scars on my wrist and knew that I was at war with myself.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Hey!! Sorry I haven't updated in a while I'm still deciding where I'm gonna take this story. Thanks so much for all the reads! I appreciate it!!-Berkley