Don't Give Up On Me - Unedited

Chapter 21

The dining room chair falling to the floor was the only sound heard to echo in the pitch quiet room.

My laboured breaths coming out in pants couldn't be controlled. I was on the verge of a panic attack. Not able to lift my head to face Owen or Hunter, I listened quietly to any clue of their anger or shame.

I could feel the burning rage vibrating of their bodies. Unable to take the silence any longer, I softly said, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Charley, what on earth are you sorry for?" Hunter spoke timidly.

"I didn't tell you everything and I should have. I'm ashamed of myself. Are you angry with me?"

"I'm not angry at you. I'm angry with myself as you couldn't trust me enough to tell me."

"I do trust you. Irrevocably." I murmur to him.

"Then why didn't you tell me?" He crouches on his knees on the floor beside me and gently raises my head to look at him. The frustration is clear on his face. At me or someone else? I do not know.

"As I already said Hunter, I'm ashamed. Everyday I feel disgusted and worthless. Every time I'm in the shower or bath I want to scrub my skin raw so I don't feel like they're still crawling over my skin. I do trust you but it was my call to make, wether to tell you or not. I realised I have to tell you much more. You've done so much for me, you deserve to know the extent of it."

I take a quick glance at Owen who still remains quiet. He has a strong grip of the table between in hands. Clenched so tight I'm surprised he hasn't received splinters. Unshed tears remain afloat in his eyes, the sight of him hurts me more than having to deal with this drama.

"Owen." I say, barely a whisper. His eyes flicker to my face briefly before settling to stare down the table.

"When." His teeth and jaw are clenched so tight the words are barely able to pass through his lips.

"A fortnight ago."

"And I'm only finding out now?" Before I can reply, he drags his chair back, lifts his coat and storms out of the room.

I quickly scramble to my feet calling his name repeatedly. As I go to make a run for it after him, Hunter holds me back. The slam of the door indicates he has left the house.

"Leave him Charley. He needs to think things through and calm down. Give him a bit of time to get his head around it."

I look up at him, arguing and berating with myself if I should. I know it's the right thing to do. He'll come back when he's ready to talk it through.

Sighing in defeat, I sit back down on the dining chair and pour another glass of wine. After swigging it all, Hunter reaches over to take the bottle from my hand to prevent me pouring another glass.

"Settle down Charley. Everything will work out."

I nod my head robotically. The resentment of speaking out in the first place plays doubtfully in my mind.

"I know. But..."

"No buts Charley. As you said, he needed to know. Obviously there's more from what you've said. I need you tell me. I don't want to pressure you but I need all what has happened to be said."

A lump forms itself in the back of my throat.

"Please. I need to hear it." He asks desperately.

"I'll tell you, I already know I have too. Just let me get myself together."

"No pressure." He rubs my back in a soothing manner.

"Give me a few minutes." I stand up from the chair and make my way to my handbag. Lifting out a pack I menthol cigarettes and a lighter I make my way to the back door. Stepping out into the cool evening breeze, I take a seat in the bench at the back of the back yard.

My thoughts are jumbled, my emotions running high, anxiety blooming and yet I hurt more for my brother. My dear sweet brother I know is hurting more. He'll blame himself. Just as he did the last time.

Taking hold of a cig and placing it between my lips, I strike the lighter and the bright golden flame flickers.

Taking a long drag soothes the nerves and knots spinning in my stomach. Maybe I should have went after Owen. Who knows what he'll be capable of when the anger is taking over.

The crunching of gravel alerts me to Hunter following the path up the backyard.

I look up exhaling the drag of smoke as I did so.

"I didn't know you smoke." He states standing infront of me.

"Because I don't. I usually take a cig or two when I'm feeling distraught or out of control. One of those situations being know."

"It's a filthy habit. The smell of it is disgusting." He takes a seat next to me on the hard wooden bench. I lean my head down onto his shoulder staring up at the array of colours lingering in the sky.

"I can stub it out if you want me to."

"It's fine. You must need it." He places his arm around my shoulder and I soak in the comfort his scent and body releases.

"I do. It's calming. For a few minutes at least anyway."

A comfortable silence settles. The sounds of the breeze rustling through the grass and pigeons flapping their wings. I inhale a drag of the cigarette contemplating wether to tell Hunter the hurdles I've had to overcome.

Life doesn't always work out as you plan.

Here goes nothing.....