Your Baby is the Size of A...

15 Weeks - Your baby is the size of a navel orange

He was crawling out of his skin with want. It was infuriating – as though every fucking nerve ending over every inch of his skin was hypersensitive. The thin cotton of his shirt managed to feel like silk, and the rough wool of his robes drove him to madness slowly.

"Damn," he gasped out, squirming in his seat – positively blushing with his teeth gritted. Severus pressed his palm over his eyes and drew in a shaky breath.

Minerva cackled at him as Poppy leaned forward to fill their teacups.

"Oh hush, it's a very normal part of pregnancy," Poppy chided the older professor, giving the other witch a sternish look – undermined by the smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "He can't help it."

"Please stop talking about me like I'm not in the room," he ground out, picking his teacup – peppermint for his benefit – and taking a sip, glaring at the two women around the china rim.

"I'm sure Remus would gladly acquiesce if you'd only ask him." Minerva gave him a look. "You probably wouldn't even have to ask him nicely. Just . . . demand it."

"Besides, it's not as though you can get into more trouble," Poppy agreed with an almost shrug, motioning to Bump. "It's already the size of an orange; just going to get bigger – and I wouldn't think you could have two separate pregnancy timelines at once."

"We also didn't think he could get pregnant, or that he would bottom for Remus Lupin either," Minerva quipped to Poppy, tone playful as she gave him a sly look that managed to make his blood boil.

Severus snorted, putting his tea down so that he could fully focus on giving both witches the biggest fuck you glare he could manage.

"I'd rather die than lie down with that cur again," he scoffed, scowling angrily. "Besides, this would be rather hard to explain away," he muttered with a vague gesture waved at his torso. "Even an idiotic werewolf would be able to figure out I'm pregnant."

"He does deserve to know, Severus – at some point," Minerva said, giving him a somewhat disapproving look over the rim of her teacup.

"I'm fairly sure I tell him that once a month," Poppy intoned, giving him a pointed glare. "If not more."

"One-time thing," he ground out, putting his teacup down and resting his hands along the swell of Bump.

"Oh, come on, Severus! Remus cares for you!" Minerva had thrown her hands into the air in exasperation. "He bloody well mopes when you don't grace the Hall with your charming presence!" Her tone bordered on sarcastic as she leveled yet another pointed look in his direction.

"He's an imbecile then. Lupin should know better than to entertain feelings for me – the thought of us together. I mean really, though – he tried to eat me after all!" Severus shouted, giving them both a sharp look.

"Really Severus, don't bring bedroom antics into this," Poppy said drolly, smirking only at the corners of her eyes. Minerva cackled again, covering her eyes as great peals of laughter left her mouth.

He was certainly not blushing. "There's nothing between us. Nor will there be." Severus said it with as much rancor as he could manage.

"For Merlin's sake – just fuck him then," Minerva manage to bite out once her laughter had subsided. "Throw the dog a bone – preferably yours. Maybe it'll knock your hormones back into line and your mood swings will stop! You've been downright catty!"

Severus drew in a deep breath through his nose and got to his feet.

"Severus, you're being melodramatic," Poppy started, her hand grasping at his forearm. "Just sit down and drink your tea, love. You'll upset the baby."