𝐏𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭

-𝟎𝟒

•𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐤𝐚 𝐋𝐞𝐰𝐢𝐬•

I walked into the house to see Amaza running towards me.

"I'm so happy to see you" Amaza said and hugged me.

That made me uncomfortable.

Touching is not one of my love languages due to obvious reasons.

"Please don't do that" I said and she stopped

"Sorry" she said. "I'm just glad to see you I thought I lost you last night"

"I would never leave" I reassured her putting my hand on her shoulder

"That's the same thing Mariska told me Masika. It turned out to be a lie"

Mariska... my twin sister.

I haven't talked about her in years but I've always thought about her.

"You never talk about her" I said

"No YOU never talk about her" she said. "Every time I bring her up you brush it off"

"Cause I don't want to talk about it"

"Why? Why not? It's been 6 years Masika"

"Just drop it Zaza please" I said

"I can barely remember her I was 12 it feels like she's slowly leaving me" she said

"Amaza..."

"Just please"

"I can't Zaza. It's a lot of baggage to unpack"

I would love to tell her about Mariska but I just can't. It feels like I would be breaking myself down.

"Im going to go lay down. I'm tired" I said and walked off

I cried and cried thinking about Mariska.

I saw her shoot herself in the head.

I read her last letter.

I remember her last words to me.

'I'm sorry. I just couldn't handle life anymore' right before pulling the trigger in my face.

I saw my twin die in front of me, and that's what Zaza doesn't know.

She doesn't know Mariska committed suicide she just knows she died.

How could we tell a 12 year old that her oldest sister who she admired committed suicide?

We couldn't do it to her.

Mariska was the golden child who had it the worst.

Even though she had a smile every time you seen her you could never tell she was hurting.

Our 20th birthday is how it started.

Like every year we had a joint birthday party.

She had her friends and I had mines.

Some time during them she was raped by a male friend who she never named in her diary.

A few weeks later she found out she was pregnant.

She couldn't bring herself to raise a baby conceived out of pure evil.

Later that day after finding out she was pregnant she killed herself.

In our apartment in her bedroom.

I watched as she fell to the floor screaming.

I should've saved her. No I COULD'VE saved her.

I should've let her know she wasn't alone, but I could've even do that.