Ten Days To My Death

The Second Day

I woke up hazily, rubbing my eyes. I checked the digital clock beside my bed. Thankfully, I woke up on time. Yawning, I walked to my bathroom and got ready for school. When I opened the fridge door to look for milk, I realised that it was expired. I'd just have to buy a new carton on the way home. Then, I left the house and headed to school with my usual outfit, a hoodie and jeans.
The rain from the previous day hadn't stopped yet. Something came over me and I felt like crying. I fought the urge and continued to trudge to school.
Upon entering my classroom, I was the earliest as usual and waited for my classmates to trickle in and stare at me weirdly like they always did. I guess I was just weird; never talked to anybody and barely talked at all... But not like I cared. I knew I was weird.
Soon, Mr Rey came into the class with a look on his face. I knew it immediately- a new student. I sighed louder than I meant to, and all eyes were on me. I stared back emotionlessly and their eyes darted back to the front.
"Okay, students we have a new student, his name is Chace so please welcome him and be nice." Mr Rey warned us, I rolled my eyes but observed the new guy- he wore dark blue glasses and his eyes were quite charming, an ocean blue and large. He was wearing a blue hoodie, and overall a nice looking. His hair was slightly long, covering his forehead as he smiled at the class and gave a short introduction. I couldn't help but keep staring. He seemed... Interesting? He- or Chace- was so sociable, how on earth would someome have the courage to smile on your first day at a new school?
Mr Rey directed him to sit beside me since it was the only space in class (no one wanted to sit next to me) and he nodded, walking calmly towards the seat next to me.
"Hi! I'm - you already know- Chace. How about you?" he asked with a smile. I was taken aback- should I reply him or just ignore him?
I was about to chose the second by somehow words came out of me, "h.. Hi I'm Nat, uhm you can call me Antarctica tho...uh, that's my m...middle name and I, erm prefer to be called that..?" I stuttered quietly and felt my ears go hot in embarrassment of talking. My classmates' eyes widened, surprised that I actually spoke.
"That's 'cool'(pun intended)! Haha, thanks for being my first friend here... It can be nerve-wrecking in a new school, you know?" he said with a short chuckle. Nerve wrecking? He seemed so relaxed! And who said I was his friend? Whatever. He'll probably find other friends and get bored of my emotionless self.
"Yeah, I know. Should we have lunch together later?"  what. I did not mean to say anything. But what could I do? The conversation started and I couldn't ignore him now. Thankfully, Mr Rey started his class and like usual, didn't care when people were talking.
"Sure! What's you're favourite food here? I mean, a recommendation won't hurt."
"Uh-uhm, I don't eat in the school. I eat at um- hom- at my house." I didn't have a home. I only lived in a house.
"So... You skip recess at school because you eat a big lunch at school, right? I've had a friend like that before!" he cheered. Should I tell him I don't eat lunch? Screw it, being honest is good.
"Nah, I don't usually have lunch...can we not talk about this?"
"Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. Like, really sorry. It must be a sensitive topic, I'm really sorry!" he hid his face in shame and I smiled at his over-polite sel- wait, what? Did I just.. Smile? A kept my face still to check and I lifted my hand to touch my own face and then the corner of my mouth. I was actually smiling. I hadn't smiled in half a year! Did this Chace dude make me smile in mere minutes? I checked the clock. Oh. Mr Rey's class was almost over? Time had never passed so fast before.
"This class is ending soon, let's leave." I suggested and he looked confused.
"But class isn't over..!" I took him by the wrist and was about to lead him out of the class but I gasped at my actions and removed my hand from his wrist. What was going on with me today?
"Um- I'm sorry I touched you I'm so sorry andanywayswecanleavetheclassanytimewewantbutonlyformrreysclass." I panicked and cried out the string of words. Chace chuckles and pats my shoulder. I flinch.
"So... You're shy I guess? I like quiet people." His eyes soften, his voice deep and he doesn't seem cheery yet nervous like before. And I feel my ears go hot at his... Compliment?
"Yeah.. I guess. Um, were you- like, nervous just now?"
"Sort of. Yea. I guess. I mean, it's my first day here but it hit me that I just made a friend, a shy one. I don't know why, but again, I like shy people!" he chuckles lightly and my cheeks flush at his slight compliment and his... Really raspy and deep voice for some reason . I don't know what's up with this guy, but I somehow want to keep talking to him while we walk to the next class.
The next class was Chinese, I thanked my lucky stars because if I talked enough, my Chinese teacher would send both of us out the class to talk. Wait, why do I even care about talking ? My subconscious reminded me.
"...so that's how it ended haha. What class is it now?" I noticed Chace ask. I felt bad that I didn't catch what he was saying, but informed him what the next class was. He groaned dramatically, letting me know that he hated Chinese.
Once we arrived at the classroom, I sat down and surprisingly, I spot him chatting with my ex-friend Amanda. She really was a great friend, until I got older and realised how my mother never cared for me, my grades took a steep slope downhill and I gradually got demotivated to do anything at all. At first, she tried to bring me back to my old self and stayed with me until I told her why I was so... depressed?all the time. She understood me and promised to stay by me, but once she met her boyfriend something overwhelmed me and I got so angry at her for ignoring me the whole week that I ignored her. Despite her efforts to apologise, my mental situation got worse until I basically became an emotionless human, without a heart or a longing soul. She eventually gave up on my boring attitude and went on to become a popular girl, occasionally texting me. Basically here's a play on how our texts go:
A (amander) : Hi
N (nat) : 👋
A: how you doing? Just letting you know that I'm glad I'm not your friend anymore, I've moved on and life is way better.
N: kay good for you
-a day later-
A: um hi I'm sorry for what I said you're still my friend we just don't hang out alot.. :)
N: ok.
A: I know you're sick of this but please, living without you sucks. I miss the old Nat that used to laugh with me and go to my house for playdates and tell me that you're my best friend but it all ended so abruptly and I miss you and care about you, you know that right? I'll be here.
N: thanks🍪
A: I'm serious, please stop giving me one words answers I miss you. I love you as a friend and I really miss you. Please come back Nat, don't leave me here. You're my best friend.
N: please, just leave alone. im sorry but I don't feel comfortable talking about this. just ignore me.
A: you know I won't but I'll leave you alone for now. I miss you Nat
A: Please, come back. I can't live without you laughing with me. I have new friends but you'll always be my best friend, here's a cookie🍪
N: kay
A: I'm serious, stop.
N: what
A: stop ignoring me. Everyone thinks you're weird but I try to tell them you're not. I'm really trying. I don't care about my reputation or being popular. I just... I just want you back!
N: ty
A: Can you sit with me in class?
N: k.
-after a day of sitting with A-
A: I enjoyed sitting with you today!
N: you didnt and I know it. Please stop.
A: I try to sit with you to talk to you, but you never do. I miss you Nat but you can't stay like this. I love you please stay strong 🍪
N: ty
A:   I seriously miss you
N: *voice message* LEAVE ME ALONE OKAY.