Sweet Torture

twenty-one:

We drop everything off at home, and set up the car seat.
"Do you think we're doing the right thing, Cruz?"
"Of course, baby. She doesn't deserve anyone else but you."
"But us."
"Yes, but us. She's going to grow up, lacking nothing, especially a solid home."
We pull up to Ruth and David's beautiful home.

As I get off the car, I'm greeted by 6 little dogs- all so fluffy and adorable. This could be Esmay's grandma and grandpa's house- if this all goes to plan. We walk into the foyer, and I feel the warmth. My astonishment is interupted by Esmay- her shriek. My motherly instinct- which I didn't know I had- is turned on and I run towards her. I swoop her into my arms. "Hey, Hey, mamma's here." And she stops wailing.

"So, I just got off the phone with Lauren." Steph says. "She's a peds attending and a social worker. She's incharge of Esmay. I told her about the both of you. She sent these papers, to make y'all her foster parents- until the adoption is confirmed."
"How long will this process be?" Cruz asks, concerned.
"Cruz, it could take-"
"Months."  I blurt. I remember how hard it was for Danielle and Adam to become my legal guardians.
"She's right. But Lauren has some contacts. Hopefully it won't be as long as usual. She'll come over and assess the house-"
"The house?"
"Yeah, something about a stable family."
"But, we're not married yet. We won't be for a good two weeks."
"Those two weeks will go by in a flash, darlings, and soon, you both will be parents." Ruth says, as she holds me.
"Here are the papers. Sign them quickly and I'll send it through." Steph says, as she passes us the papers and a pen, and Cruz takes Esmay from my hands. The moment Cruz holds Esmay, she looks up at him, smiles, and nuzzles into him. I feel him melt next to me. "Daddy's here. Daddy's never leaving you," He whispers. My so called "heartless" eyes are filled with nothing but tears and the adoption papers are nothing but some blurry words I struggle to read through the tears. I remember a conversation we had once in highschool...

"I rather cut off my nutsack than have kids." He snorts. Stupid fucking bastard, He isn't going to get anywhere in his life. "They're so sticky, and yucky-"
"I actually want to have kids, especially with you." I mumble, so afraid that he might insult me in front of all of our friends.

Now look at him- smitten. I fill in all the details, and sigh as I pass them to Steph. What if we don't get approved? I shudder at the thought of someone taking her away from us.
"Well, you guys are officially fostering to adopt." Steph says. "The adoption will be denied immediately if one of you get a criminal record, commit an unlawful deed, live in an unsuitable house to raise kids-"
"Okay, Steph, we get it." Cruz shuts her up.
"Well, it'll take a few days for the fostering to be approved, and then, you guys will be able to take your little girl home." Steph adds.
"It's a girl." Cruz said in a hoarse voice, and he sounds as if he is holding back his tears.
"It's a girl." I reiterate, and kiss him.
My phone buzzes. It's a message from Rosaline.

Rosaline

Afternoon, ma'am.
Reminder of your meeting with the international board of
editors, tomorrow.
Hope you are well, you were to be at work today, but I
don't assume you forgot.
Hope you enjoyed your trip, see you tomorrow.

Good Afternoon, Rosaline. I did not forget, had some things
to do today, will be there at 9.

I, infact did forget that I was supposed to be at work today. I lost track of time. I flash the message at Cruz, and he laughs.
"What's so funny, Forman?" I ask.
He pulls me closer to whisper in my hair. "We were fucking in the parking lot of your company yesterday, and it didn't even occur to you that you have to be here tomorrow?"
"Well at that moment in time, I couldn't really think straight with you slamming into me."
He clears his throat and sits up straight. "Do you want me to slam into you again?'
I look at his dick and back at him. "The things I want you to do to me, is unimaginable, Forman...But do you still have those handcuffs from Sydney?"
He smirks. "Well-"
"Jo, Cruz, dinner's ready!" Ruth yells from the kitchen. Darn, that was going well.
"When we go home, the things I'm going to do to you is unimaginable, Guelas."
We head into the dining room, hand in hand.
The aroma from the kitchen is mindblowing- she's making what I think is stirfry. We sit at the chairs, which are attached by twos. Steph comes in and informs us that Esmay's asleep in her room, and sits opposite us, and is busy on her phone.

"You know what you did to me?" Cruz says. He takes my hand and pushes it into his sweatpants- to feel his throbbing dick. I scope my hand over it and tighten my grip on it, and he inhales sharply, choking on some of his saliva. I remove my hand quickly as Steph wakes up to get him water. I laugh.

"Dinner's served!" David says as he walks in with what I assumed was right: Stirfry.
I help Steph clean up and I decide to make some conversation.
"So, anything interesting happening in your life, Steph?"
She blushes. "Well... There is a guy- His name is Andrew. He was my fellow. Now he works in the same hospital that I do, and well, we've been hitting it off. We went on a few dates. I haven't told mom or dad. Or Cruz. He'll just tease me about it. He's a really good kisser-"
She looks over at me to find that I'm thoroughly invested. "Go on, I'm listening."
"God, I'm oversharing, aren't I?"
I smile. "Of course not."
"I always wanted a sister. I thought Cruz was gay for the most part."
"You thought I was what?" Cruz intrudes, with Esmay in his hands.
"GAY. She thought you were gay." I smile.
"Do you hear what your mommy and your tia are talking about, baby? They have no respect for you." His conversation is directed to Esmay. I take her from him and kiss her.
"I bet you thought daddy was gay when you first saw him too. Doesn't he look kinda gay?" And Esmay lets out a giggle, as if she understood what I said. My happy baby. She lights up an entire room.

"Hey! I thought you were on my side!" He tickles her and she laughs harder. ''It's getting late. We should go."

The Formans walk out with us as we say goodnight to our baby. I feel as if I'm leaving a part of me behind, but I know she's in good hands. Cruz kisses her and squeezes her hard. "Mommy and daddy love you, princess." He says as he passes her to Steph. As we reverse out of the driveway, I watch her staring at the wheels. What is she thinking about? Does she think we're leaving her.

"Hey, she'll be ok. She's safe with them." Cruz reassures me as he squeezes my leg.
The drive home is quiet, besides the sound of the radio playing a song I haven't heard before. I'm a mom. I smile at the thought. I make a mental note to tell Olivia and her parents.
"Dance with me. We need to practice for our wedding anyways." He says, as I sit there, staring at his outstretched hand.
"Cruz-"
"Esmay is fine, baby. She is ours."
"I know-"
"So dance with me."

I roll my eyes and stand up, as he connects his phone to the sound system and scrolls to find a song. Out of the silence, Dandelions by Ruth B starts to play. I recognise it immediately, sincing I'm a fifty shades fanatic. I didn't thnk he was going to put a upbeat song on. He grabs my hand and swings me side to side. He presses his forehead against mine. "And I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine. " He exhales according to the beat as he holds my face. We continue to dance and laugh, he lifts the stress off my shoulders.

I see forever in your eyes.
I feel okay when I see you smile...