it's my feeling we'll win in the end

Chapter 7: you know it, baby

"I can't believe you're laughing at me right now!" yells Will, burying his head in his arms. "It isn't funny!"

"Okay but it sort of is, though," chokes out Robin. "So now Mike thinks you like..."

"Steve, yeah." That sets her off again.

"So... so..." she giggles. "So the boy you've had a huge crush on for years thinks you've got the hots for... Steve the Hair Harrington."

"Yes. Ugh! This isn't fucking funny Robin!" He stares at her seriously for a minute before collapsing into a fit of laughter himself. "...Okay, so maybe it's a little funny."

"Yeah it is," she says through more giggles.

"But it's also a disaster, Robin!"

"How, though?" she asks, calming down a little. "Isn't it a good thing that Mike doesn't know you actually like him?"

"Yeah, that's the good part," concedes Will. "Except now he's actually trying to set me up with Steve!"

"Oh my god, is he actually?

"Yes! Yesterday we were just chatting with the Party when Dustin mentioned Steve's name in passing and Mike - swear to god- winked at me!"

"That's too good," wheezes Robin.

"And that's not even the worst of it! He also keeps suggesting we invite Steve to hang out with us and stuff!" He sighs. "Robin, this whole thing seriously sucks. What should I do?"

"...I dunno."

"You don't know ?" he says incredulously. "But you're Robin! You always know what to do."

"I am a genius, correct. And yeah maybe I can give advice for, like, normal life stuff but this... I mean, I'm not sure that this is a situation anyone has ever been in before, dude."

"What, you don't think it's common to accidentally tell the guy you're secretly in love with that you have a crush on his sister's ex-boyfriend who you kill monsters with sometimes?"

"...I wouldn't say common, no." She thinks about it for a minute, drumming her fingers. "Ok I do have one idea, but I don't think you're gonna like it." His eyes narrow with suspicion.

"What is it?"

"I think we should bring in an expert to help you."

"What do you mean?" he asks distrustfully.

"Well, there's one person I can think of who knows more about being infatuated with Steve Harrington than anyone else..."

"No, Robin, you don't mean-"

"...I think you should tell Steve."

"Absolutely not!"

"But he gives Dustin advice all the time and maybe he'll know what to do about your whole situation! I hear he has his moments of wisdom," she argues. "Plus that man genuinely loves talking about himself! You'd be doing him a favour, really."

"But I don't-" he starts.

"Dude, what are your other options here?" she says. "Plus -and no offense man- but how much more fucked up could your life get?" Well, she has a point there.

Which is how an hour later, he finds himself sitting behind the counter at Family Video with Robin and the former king of Hawkins High himself, explaining everything.

"...So you don't have a crush on me?" is the first thing Steve says once he's done explaining.

" No ."