MONEY TREES, gossip girl [DISCONTINUED]

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PROLOGUE
A STRING OF HAPPENINGS
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CRISTIAN had a feeling this was where his life was heading. He always knew.

Cristian didn't want to be the way that he was, it just happened. Cristian didn't want to become dependent on drugs, it just happened. Cristian didn't want to overdose that night, it just happened. Everything that happened to him just happened. No control, no avoiding, no changing it. Things happened and things kept happening.

He had this idea in his head that life would never go where he wanted it to. The paranoia of his world flipping upside down was so prevalent from the moment he was born, that he grew to embrace the paranoia as a part of him. The paranoia became less of a fear and more of a forever looming presence of future happenings. For a while, the drugs helped to make living with it easier.

Cristian can remember that unfateful day in tiny fractures, but he doesn't feel as if it truly happened to him. A part of CJ hopes that it was all in his head, people were being dramatic, and one day he'll look up and it would be as if he never moved at all.

But he looks up, and he's moved. He looks up and meets the gaze of the substance abuse counselor in rehab. Because when CJ moved, this is where he ended up.

"So, it's your last day in the program. How are you feeling about that?" The counselor asks, looking at CJ through thin glasses on the bridge of his nose.

"I don't know. Excited?" CJ tells him, arms crossed over his chest as if to protect himself from the prodding questions.

"I'm sure you are. You probably miss your family and friends."

CJ visibly tenses, "Yeah. Can't wait to see them."

"Good, good," The counselor nods along, "I'd like to run your through your aftercare plans again, if you don't mind."

"I don't."

He does.

CJ's focus goes in and out throughout the conversation. He's had dozens of talks like these in this rehab facility— it's basically all there is to talk about while in rehab. Recovery, staying clean, integrating back into society is the only topic anymore.

But nonetheless he nods at the plan. Therapy, 12-step participation, NA meetings, and all the requirements needed to get to a so-called "better life." CJ is already bored of it and it hasn't even started.

"What are your plans for once you get home?" The counselor questions, once the planning is done and over with. CJ takes a moment to think.

Cristian knows what he should want. Idealy, he would stick to the program and go through the motions of therapies and meetings, earn his family's trust again by being a model student and responsible young adult, maybe even get a job if he feels so inclined. Become a productive member of society.

But the thing is, CJ doesn't know how to do that. Even if he wanted to, he wouldn't know where to begin. He fully understands that he's not ready for life outside of rehab. Cristian is vulnerable and well aware of it, and maybe secretly wants to be taken advantage of again.

Maybe Cristian will surprise himself, or maybe he'd prove himself right. Either way, a life without some self-medicating is one he isn't sure he wants to live.

"I guess try to live my life again and stay on the path of sobriety." Cristian says the answer that he's supposed to, but if he were to be completely honest?

Cristian doesn't have any plans.