MONEY TREES, gossip girl [DISCONTINUED]

15

tw! lots of drug use, mentions of
needles (non-graphic), dubious consent

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CHAPTER FIFTEEN
RELAPSE
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CRISTIAN is having a shitty day.

His mood has been sour since the night before, the last time he talked to his mother. The guilt festered and spiraled out of control, eventually mutating into anger. He meant to take it out on himself, but the anger heats up his skin so much that it forces itself onto the people around him.

He tries to do what he normally does when he's mad: avoid talking at all costs. His selective mutism may be frustrating to everyone else, but at least there's no chance of hurting them with his words. But it seems that the staff of St. Jude's was adamant on calling on CJ to answer questions or invite him to a discussion after class, ultimately forcing his hand. He leaves every class in a worse mood than he went into it with.

The most irritating part of the day is not just his guilt-caused rage, but the fact that he used up all his pills. He's run dry. CJ's nearly gone an entire day clean, which would be a win under any other circumstances— circumstances where he'd want to be clean, that is.

CJ feels himself practically shaking throughout the day, like a caffeine addict who hasn't had a cup of coffee yet. Although, he wishes he only yearned for coffee. To get through the day, CJ chugs espressos and candy like his life depends on it. A caffeinated sugar rush is the closest thing to a high.

Not to mention, he has a play to go to tonight. He sorely regrets telling Max he'd go, and that only worsens his guilt. CJ doesn't want to be someone who goes back on their word, and he won't, but he wishes he could. He would like nothing more than to sleep the rest of his day away.

During lunch, CJ is unable to stomach anything. The mere thought of eating makes him feel nauseous, and he's physically shaking. CJ excuses himself from Obie and Zoya, pulling out his phone once he's a safe distance away.

He scrolls through his contacts, landing on one he should have blocked and deleted. But he didn't. CJ didn't block him for the same reason he kept those stupid pills— he was always going to relapse. He never stood a chance.

Throwing once last glance to his friends, he sees them talking. Zoya and Obie chat aimlessly, surely still on about the play they're seeing tonight. Being a third wheel is another incentive for CJ to skip it. With a sigh, he calls the forbidden number.

It rings for a painfully long time before it's accepted, "Hello?"

"Trent, hey," CJ greets, scratching the back of his neck, "It's CJ."