Finding True Love

23.

So last week was emotional. Roman and I found out that we could potentially have children, it would just be harder for me to get pregnant than it would for any other woman. But it was still possible. So, I guess that meant that kids were still on table which, honestly made both of us really happy. But then there was the argument we had right after we found out and it hurt like hell to come to realization that I had to stop pushing everyone away. I hated it but I had to let Roman stand by my side in the fire. And that's what I was prepared to do.

We spent the rest of the week just being together talking about the future and babies. Roman wanted a whole damn football team which I thought was freaking crazy. But I wanted two babies. Or at least one. If one was all I could have, I would still be grateful for it. And Roman would too. So we agreed. At least one baby would be enough.

But now we were at the last Monday Night Raw before Money In The Bank and I was excited. I mean, I would be finding out if I had an opponent for my title and I couldn't wait to see who it would be. I also couldn't wait to see what my parents had in store for both Roman and me tonight considering our actions last week. Drugging my mom and making her ill and have to leave the arena with my dad. Manipulating Vickie into putting Roman into the battle royal to see who would go to Money In The Bank and compete for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. And he won that match. Roman was officially in that match and had a one in seven chance of winning the title.

I looked in the mirror after changing into my attire. I smoothed it out and then my hands rested on my stomach. I just stared at the image in front of me. Looking at this, I realized that I did wanna be pregnant. I wanted to have a baby one day. But I also couldn't help but feel nervous. I mean, I didn't know if I could actually have one. The doctor said there was a chance and we were gonna go for it but that didn't mean that it would work. And if it did, what kind of mother would I be? All I ever knew was nannies and babysitters. My parents were almost always gone. I didn't wanna be anything like that. Now I had a new battle in my head. If I got pregnant tomorrow, would I be ready to give up my career?

"What you thinking about beautiful?" Roman asked interrupting my thoughts.

I turned to look at him. "I didn't hear you come in." I said. Roman had been in catering which had left me alone in the locker room until now.

"Well that's because you were off in la la land." he said as he walked over and wrapped his arms around my waist. I chuckled. "What were you thinking about?"

I sighed and looked at him. "I was just thinking about the future. If I was to get pregnant next week, I don't know that I'm ready to walk away from my career." I said.

"You don't have to." he said. "You could come back after you have the baby and still do what you love to do."

"But that's just it. My whole life, my parents weren't there because they were always on the road. Sometimes even when I needed them the most. I can't put our child through that. I don't wanna be an absent parent. But I also don't want to resent my child either because I have to walk away from all of this. I guess I'm just wondering if I'll be a good mom. If I'm even qualified for this." I said.

"Qualified to be a mom?" he asked. I nodded. "Baby girl, when we do have a family, I am completely sure that you will be a fantastic mom. You always put everyone else's needs before your own. You make sure everyone is taken care of. You will be an amazing mom. And luckily, we still have a while for you to actually believe that."

I smiled. "I know. I'm over reacting way too early. It's just, all this baby talk since we got back from vacation has just been really overwhelming. It's like taking over my mind." I said.

"I know. Me too." he said. "But let's just enjoy the time we have together, just the two of us, before we worry about babies and a family. Now that we know there's a chance, we can relax and just be together."