Devotion

11| not at all.

My heart was pounding out of my chest while we were driving, knowing that the confusion will only get bigger the time we arrive. I slowly started recognizing the paths and the streets, the houses and the trees, that was when I finally knew: We were almost home. No, that wasn't my home. It never was.

I mean, what is home anyway? I thought of my parents and my childhood started to form again right in front of me. Noticing how I never appreciated being young, before it was too late. Home is being loved, not a House, a City or some place, its being surrounded by people that you love and you want to be with. Thats why I thought that it was my Home, but now, I wasnt so sure anymore.

I stared out the window and went through all my memories again, every moment that I experienced with Bucky. Now it was just memories, nothing that will accompany me as soon as the hex is gone. But they did not leave me empty, the emotions I felt were overwhelming enough to put me in a void. The world went black again and I completely forgot that I wasn't alone until Darcy tapped my shoulder.

"Were here. Can you do this? "

I looked up and saw the house in which I spent what felt like decades with Bucky and even though I was screaming inside that I couldn't and didn't even want to, I nodded once too much and then got out.

Vision quickly walked towards our door and I sighed when I realized that I didn't have time to prepare for what was to come. When I saw Bucky my heart dropped rapidly. I felt like a coward, hiding behind the others like they were my shield, but his eyes were burning a hole into me, and as he stared into mine, he knew. And now I knew, that he knew.

He knew it already.

His eyes filled with tears, making his blue eyes even more prominent and hypnotizing, I couldn't look away, even though my sight got blurry, from my own tears running down my burning cheeks.

He walked towars me, with slow heavy steps and as he stood in front of me, finally, tall but doubting he put his hand on my cheek, wiping away any tear that was left. Ignoring the others, we were like the only people in this world right now, and it was almost as if I could hear his blood rushing through his veins.

"Bucky, why didn't you tell me?"

He shut his eyes while he answered me, and put my hand into his, still on my cheek.

"Because, we were happy, y/n. We deserved it, don't you think? You deserved it. Even though it was with me, I know. I know that I'm Important for you, but outside of the hex, I'm not what you love, I can't give you what you need, not as a partner, not as a friend, only as a stranger."

He opened his eyes again and I looked around, noticing that Vision and Darcy left, letting us alone. "And what about you? Am I Important to you?"

I took a step closer to him, but he only backed away.

"Yes you are. Here you are."

"What about in the real world, Buck? What about in an hour, when the hex is gone?"

He looked like he was debating on whether he should tell me the truth or lie to me, but what I didnt expect was him to tell me:

"No, in the real world you're not important to me. Not at all."