A story is like an evermore gemstone. Beautiful and crisp. Crafted to look brilliant in light and darkness. But, who does the crafting? Who enhances the beauty of these gems? Gemcutters do.
Our skilled editors will edit your book just like how a gem...
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Client Username :xx-ni-kx Editor Wattpad Username :ineedutoomuch No. of chapters edited : 7 + prologue What did you edit? : general line editing
Overall Feedback On Book
While editing your story, I noticed a few different things that I would like to bring your attention to.
But first, I have to say, I just adore the characters. Like, so much. Each person has their own personality, aspirations, and little idiosyncrasies that are simply wonderful to read about! And their interactions with each other? Raw, clever, and honestly some of the best writing I've seen in a while. Great job, keep going!
Regarding the grammar, however, I did notice a few inconsistencies throughout the text. Allow me to guide you through all the suggestions I have to improve your story!
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— Most non-technical writing styles recommended spelling out the numbers. I personally spell out numbers from one to one hundred, and use numerals beyond that. Of course, not for dates, time, and the like, but casual usage should be in word form.
Since you don't stick to a particular style, it's more of a personal preference thing, but your writing will look much more professional if you do!
"Not so early... she's only 11!" vs. "Not so early... she's only eleven!"
— To mark an interruption in dialogue, hyphens were used.
Well, at the beginning of the story. Towards the end, I noticed em dashes (—) indicating the cut-offs. Good for you on catching that! It's grammatically correct, so keep it up.
(I fixed all the hyphenated cut-offs so you don't have to go back, but remember to keep using em dashes! ^^)
Maybe a little too good, because now I see em dashes being used to show stuttering. Here's one:
"Perfect. That sounds p—perfect," mumbled Kiara.
Granted, I only saw a few cases, but I'm still going to remind you that stuttering always calls for hyphens!
So, em dashes for interruptions and parenthetical content, hyphens for everything else.
— While I admire your expansive vocabulary, oftentimes, the words sound nice but don't make sense. For example:
[...] and only his eyes, which felt like solitude in this hardship of a world.
Reads fine. Poetic, nice, flowy. However, the definition is awkward.
"Solitude in this hardship of a world" roughly translates to "desolation in this suffering of a world." A little odd, and probably not what you're looking for.
