More than a game [a Damian Priest story]

14 Crying

The first thing I heard when I came to was rough breathing somewhere next to me. I also heard something that sounded like sobs. Hearing this sound made my eyes flutter. I slowly opened my eyes, but then blinked a few times as the bright light blinded me. 

As I turned my head in the direction of the sobbing, my fears came true. The expression on Damian's face simply could not mean anything else. Gently, I lifted my hand and stroked his cheek. His eyes popped open and he looked down at me, relieved yet heartbroken.

"Hey, you're awake. How are you feeling?" asked Damian softly as he put his hand on mine.

"Have I lost it?" I asked in a whisper. Even though I was afraid to have it confirmed, I needed to know.

"Yeah, we did." he confirmed softly. His gaze held so much sadness.

Instead of answering, I started crying, sobs shaking my whole body. Tears streamed down my face and I wasn't sure if I could ever stop crying.

Without saying a word, Damian lay down with me in the hospital bed. Gently he slid an arm under me and pulled me to his chest. I felt him give me a kiss on my hair.

The minutes passed, but my crying just wouldn't let up. Damian just rubbed my back soothingly and reassuringly. I didn't know how much time had passed before he decided to say something.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he murmured softly. Emotion swung in his voice, making it even deeper than usual.

"I was so eager to surprise you tonight. I've known for about a week now and figured today would be the perfect opportunity to tell you. It would have made your day so much greater. I'm so sorry," I cried.

"Mi querida, you have nothing to be sorry for. It was not your fault. Can I ask you something?" he replied softly. I just nodded.

"What did you mean when you said you knew the feeling?" asked Damian.

"It wasn't my first... miscarriage. Remember how I told you that I tried to get away from him several times, but he always found me?" I whispered.

"Yes." he said.

"I still don't know how he did it. No matter where I was or how many times I changed my phone and number. He always tracked me down. And he had a gun on me. He would... raped me. When I found out I was pregnant... I don't... I don't know how he knew. But again, he found me. He, uh... threw me down a flight of stairs and I crashed into a display case. 

The glass shards were everywhere in my skin. But that wasn't enough for him. He kept beating me and then... then he took a knife and.... that's where the scars came from. If the passers-by on the street in front of the house hadn't heard me screaming, I don't think I would still be alive. 

They called the police and an ambulance. Then, when I was in the hospital, I felt this... pain," I explained. I had to take several deep breaths to calm down. Again and again I burst into tears.

"Now you really know everything. And I will never repeat it again. But that was the moment when I decided that I didn't want children. You alone were the reason I changed my mind. Now I'm not so sure. I wasn't kidding when I told you I was damaged." I continued.

"And I told you that despite everything that has happened to you, you are still here. You are so strong. You are a fighter." Damian breathed in my ear.

"And still I lost our baby..." I cried.

"I know, but... that doesn't mean we won't have a baby someday. It's okay to be sad and angry. I am, too. But we're not going to let that son of a bitch win. We're going to have our own family." he replied.

Even though I heard how sad and upset he was under the surface, he was trying to be strong. And that made me love him 100 times more.