A wounded soul (elmax story)

Chapter 5

Els POV

We arrive home around 7. We went to the station around 3 and got home around 7. I just want to sleep. "El are you hungry??" Nance asks and I shake my head no. I walk up the stairs not exchanging words with anyone and I go lay down in the guest room. Astro joins me and lays down at the foot of the bed. Cut yourself. Slash your wrists. Die. Kill yourself. Die. Kill yourself.

A knock comes from the door. "Ellie?" Max. I look up and meet her eyes and her face saddens. "Are you okay?" She asks cautiously. I shrug and turn onto my other side so she won't see me cry. Little fucking bitch. Who would want you? "Please look at me." She says and I don't respond. When I get sad or upset I don't speak. All I'll do is hurt her. That's one trait I got from my father, my anger. "I'll leave you alone." She says closing my door. Please come back. I slowly drift to sleep preparing myself for the worst.

I wake up screaming, out of breath, crying and shaking. I continue screaming and shaking until someone bursts through my door causing me to curl in a ball and carry on screaming. "Please. Please don't." I beg rocking back and forth. I don't hear any movement till I'm rolled over. I see my father towering over me with blood all over his hands. "HELP. HELP. PLEASE SOMEONE. ANYONE." I scream kicking and thrashing trying to just get away. "Nobody can save you. They're all dead." He says with a sly smile. "PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE SAVE ME. PLEASE JUST HELP ME." I scream my heart pounding out of my chest "EL. WAKE UP."

I shoot up panting and sweating. Gasping for air and tears streaming down my face. "It's just me. You're okay. It's okay." Max says grabbing a hold of me and rocking me back and forth. "Breathe. You're okay." She says again. Mike and his mom are standing in the doorway and I'm traumatized. I'm a freak. "I-I'm sorry. Just go ba- back to bed. I'm fine." I say shaking my head and max sighs. "Come get into mine." She says grabbing my hand and pulling me up. I nod and follow her to her room and I get into bed and lay down next to her. "It'll get better" she says pulling me into a hug. "I-it w-wont. I'm a f-f-freak." I stutter out starting to cry. She sighs and squeezes me. We both know just not to say anything.

🚩TW🚩
I wake up once again after a dream screaming, max crazily doesn't wake up so I take this opportunity. Blade. Where would a blade be? A blade they won't notice missing. A small one so I can hide it. Sharpener. I walk into the basement and I see Mike, will Dustin and Lucas sleeping on the floor. Shit. I start tip toeing around them and their sleeping bags and I make it to the desk. Good. Quiet. I slowly open the top drawer and I see 2 sharpeners. Okay. One they use, one they don't. Which one do they use??? They use it for D&D. Okay, green or silver, green or silver, green or silver... silver. I grab it and slowly close the drawer and I turn around to see Astro. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. "Stay Astro. Sit. Stay." I whisper and she understands. She sits down but she's panting. Move your ass. Move it. I cautiously but quickly maneuver between the boys. Step, step, step, leg. LEG. FUCK. LEG. I trip over Lucas and he sits up. "El?"

"No, this is nance" I say in her voice and he nods. And then he's asleep. Good. Good. I get Astro and go up the stairs and straight to the bathroom. I get the blades out, it was one of those 2 sharpener thingys. One will stay in here and one will stay in the guest room. Cut. Just do it. I bring the blade to my skin and drag it along my wrist. FUCK. not wrist. Not wrist. Thighs. Okay, thighs. I take a deep breath and hold my wrist and then I go to my thighs. First the left and then the right. But the end of it, there's no clear skin left. I wash up, put the blade under my shampoo bottle and cover the cuts. I walk into the guest room and hide the other one in a pillowcase. Good job.

🚩TW over🚩 (I will not give anymore of those. I just wanted to make sure everyone understood it can be brutal. You may need to stop reading.)

I lay down next to max and she rolls over and wraps her arms around me. "Where were you?" She asks sleepily and I just say I was in the bathroom. She sighs and nods and immediately she's asleep again. I lay up the rest of the night until 7:30 and then I'm up and downstairs doing chores. When I feel guilty, I clean. Mrs wheeler comes down and is taken back when she sees me. "Oh el, you scared me!" She says holding her chest and I chuckle a little. "Sorry Mrs wheeler. I just felt like cleaning." She smiles and nods and goes into the kitchen to start making breakfast. I continue cleaning till around 10 and Lucas is the first one up. "Hey el, were you in the basement last night?" He asks concerned and I nod "oh yeah, I was just looking for a drink- I mean my drink. I had a drink last night and forgot where I left it." I say quickly and he laughs a little "I can believe that. You made me laugh impersonating nance like that. It was good." He says making me break into a cold sweat. "Oh yeahhhh. I thought you would laugh." I say smiling a little.