Hafu: Everyone, synchronize your watches.
5up: I don't know how to do that.
Steve: I don't wear a watch.
DK : Time is a construct.
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Hafu: Can I be frank with you guys?
5up: Sure, but I don't see how changing your name is gonna help.
Steve: Can I still be Steve?
DK : Shh, let Frank speak.
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Hafu: You know those things will kill you, right?
5up, pouring another glass of whiskey: That's the point.
Steve, smoking a cigarette: We're trying to speed up the process.
DK : *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*
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Hafu: Dammit, Steve!
Steve: What?! It wasn't me!
Hafu: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, 5up!
5up: Not me either.
Hafu: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?
DK : *whistles*
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Hafu: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.
5up: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.
Steve: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?
DK : Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.
———————————————————————
Hafu: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.
5up: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
Steve: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies' eyes!!!
DK : Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
Hafu: If you touch my birthday cake I'll make you eat your hands.
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*Hafu's helping 5up out after they get injured, while the others are watching*
Steve: How does 5up look?
DK : A little better than you, actually.
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*Hafu, 5up, and Steve are sitting on a bench*
DK : Why do you guys look so sad?
Hafu: Sit down with us so we can tell you.
*DK sits down*
5up: The bench is freshly painted.
———————————————————————
DK: On a scale from "damn Daniel" to "fre sha vaca do", how are you feeling?
5up: In between "it's an avocado, thanks" and "how did you defeat Captain America", but as a solid answer I would say "I don't need a degree to be a clothing hanger". How about you, Steve?
Steve: Probably "road work ahead".
Hafu : I speak many languages, and this is none of them.
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Steve: Have you seen a person named '5up' around here?
Hafu: Ugh, yes. They made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.
DK : It looks fine to me?
Hafu: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!
———————————————————————
Hafu: *Screams*
5up: *Screams louder to assert dominance*
Steve: Should we do something?!
DK , observing: No, I want to see who wins this.
———————————————————————
*playing D&D*
[The group is a prison cell that was just hit by an earthquake]
Hafu: Uh, I'm gonna roll a perception check of... 4, and see if our cell is, uh, in any way damaged by this quake
5up: You're in a prison cell :)
Steve: You did great. Well, I got a 10-
5up: You're in a prison cell with bars on it :3
DK : I got a 1!
5up: You're in... a cube-shaped place.
———————————————————————
Hafu: 5up isn't answering their phone
Steve: I'll call
Hafu: DK and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
5up: Hello?
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