Xchocobars : The floor is lava!
Tina: *helps Wolfabelle onto the counter*
Ash: *kicks Hafu off the sofa*
Plushys: *lays on the floor*
Xchocobars : ...Are you okay?
Plushys: No.
———————————————————————
Tina: Christmas lights?
Ash: Check.
Plushys: THermos of hot cocoa?
Ash: Check.
Xchocobars : Santa suits?
Ash: Check.
Wolfabelle : Shovel?
Ash: Check.
Hafu: Alibi and bail money?
Ash: Check- wait, WHAT?!
———————————————————————
Wolfabelle : If you got arrested what would be the charges?
Hafu: Theft.
Plushys: Disturbing the peace.
Ash: Aggravated assault.
Xchocobars : Arson.
Tina: All of the above. In that order, probably.
———————————————————————
Ash: How much you wanna bet Hafu got a Lap dance from Tina?
Wolfabelle : If that happened, Xchocobars can drink free tonight.
Xchocobars : As much as I love the thought of having free drinks I don't like the idea of Hafu receiving a Lap dance from someone other than me.
Ash: Hey Tina, did you give Hafu a lap dance?
Tina: So what if I did?
Ash, to Wolfabelle : I guess Xchocobars is drinking free tonight.
Tina: Be right back, I'm gonna go cry-
Hafu, entering the room: What the f
———————————————————————
Hafu: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.
Tina: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back...
Xchocobars : Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.
Ash: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years.
Wolfabelle : I knew I lost that potential somewhere.
Plushys: Mental stability, my old friend!
Hafu: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?
———————————————————————
Wolfabelle : I put the pun in punishment.
Plushys: I put the top in unstoppable.
Xchocobars : I put the cute in execute.
Hafu: I put the sexy in dyslexia.
Tina: I put the ass in class.
Ash: I put the D in Wolfabelle
———————————————————————
Xchocobars : So, did everyone learn their lesson?
Ash: No.
Hafu: I did not.
Tina: I may have actually forgotten one.
Plushys: Also no.
Xchocobars : Oh good, neither did I.
Wolfabelle : *Exhausted sigh*
———————————————————————
Tina : Between Plushys, Xchocobars , Tina, and Wolfabelle -- if you had to -- who would you punch?
Hafu: No one! They're my friends. I wouldn't punch any of them.
Tina : Wolfabelle?
Hafu: Yeah, but I don't know why.
———————————————————————
Hafu: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them?
Tina, watching Ash screaming, Xchocobars trying to set a sleeping Plushys on fire, and Wolfabelle choking on air: I don't know either.
———————————————————————
Xchocobars : From now on we will be using code names.
Xchocobars : You can address me as Eagle One.
Xchocobars : Plushys is "been there done that".
Xchocobars : Ash is "currently doing that".
Xchocobars : Hafu is "it happened once in a dream".
Xchocobars : Tina is "if I had to pick a dude/gal/enby".
Xchocobars : And Wolfabelle is..
Xchocobars : Eagle Two
Wolfabelle : Oh thank god.
———————————————————————
Xchocobars : What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?
Xchocobars : Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies.
Wolfabelle : Socks are Feetie Heaties.
Tina: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties.
Hafu: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies.
Ash: Stamps are Lickie Stickies.
Plushys: I hate you guys so much
———————————————————————
Xchocobars : If you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier.
Xchocobars : Violently practices.
Plushys: Violently studies.
Tina: Violently sleeps.
Ash: Violently shoots pictures.
Wolfabelle : Violently boxes.
Hafu: Violently murders people.
Tina: Violently worries about the previous statement.
———————————————————————
Plushys: Xchocobars is too tall for me to kiss her on the lips. What should I do?
Wolfabelle : Punch them in the stomach. Then, when they double over in pain, kiss them.
Plushys: Tackle them!
Hafu: Dump them.
Ash: Kick them in the shin!
Xchocobar: No to all of those! Just ask me to lean down!!
———————————————————————
Xchocobars : We're kind of missing something guys.
Tina: Cohesion?
Plushys: Teamwork?
Wolfabelle : A general sense of what we're doing?
Hafu: And Ash is not here.
Tina: Oh, and that, yeah.
———————————————————————
Ash: I'm the smartest person in my friend group.
Xchocobars : You hang out with Wolfabelle , Hafu, Tina, and Plushys.
Xchocobars : It's not as high a compliment as you think.
———————————————————————
Tina: We have a problem.
Plushys: Let me guess, you caused it?
Ash: Gimme a sec, I'm not drunk enough to listen to this yet.
Hafu: And it's another Tuesday, your point?
Xchocobars : Would shooting you solve this problem? No? Then shut up.
Wolfabelle : If you're mean the fire, that's our solution to last week's problem
———————————————————————
Tina: Hey guys, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing?
Wolfabelle , Ash, and Plushys: No!
Hafu: Alright, that's it, you guys. What happened out there?
Wolfabelle : What? We took a walk. Nothing happened. I came back with nothing all over me.
Hafu: What does that mean?
Tina: Come on, what happened? Ash?
Ash: Alright.
Wolfabelle : No. Ash, we swore we'd never tell!
Plushys: They'll never understand.
Ash: But we have to say something. We have to get it out. It's eating me alive.
Ash: Wolfabelle got stung by a jellyfish!
Wolfabelle : Alright! I got stung. Stung bad. I couldn't stand. I- I couldn't walk.
Plushys: We were two miles from the house. We were scared and alone. We didn't think we could make it.
Wolfabelle : I was in too much pain.
Ash: And I was tired from digging a huge hole.
Plushys: And then Ash remembered something.
Ash: I'd seen this thing in the Discovery Channel.
Tina: Wait a minute, I saw that. On the Discovery Channel. Yeah, about jellyfish and how if you— EW! You peed on yourself?
Hafu and Xchocobars : EW!!
Wolfabelle : You can't say that! You don't know! I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain. Anyway, I tried, but I couldn't... bend that way. So... *looks at Ash*
Tina, Hafu, and Xchocobars : Ew!
Ash: That's right. I stepped up. They're my friend and they needed help. If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you.
Ash: Only, uh, I couldn't. I got stage fright. I wanted to help but there was too much pressure. So, I, um, I turned to Plushys.
Plushys: Ash kept screaming at me, "Do it now. Do it. Do it now." Sometimes, late at night I can still hear the screaming.
Ash: That's because sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.
———————————————————————
Ash: Bye Plushys! Bye Tina! Bye Hafu! Bye Xchocobars ! Bye Plushys!
Wolfabelle : You said 'bye Plushys' twice.
Ash: I like Plushys.
———————————————————————
Ash: You know, when Tina comes over, Wolfabelle can get a little...
Hafu: Psycho?
Xchocobars : Scary?
Plushys: Drunk?
Ash: All three.
