Sangwoo x Yoonbum: If Things Were Different

Lies

"Fuck." Sangwoo breathed as he removed himself from inside Yoonbum; allowing the latter to fully collapse on the couch.

Yoonbum's body hurt already, and he wasn't looking forward to how it was going to feel in the morning. But for the time being he was simply riding the high that came from what just happened.

There was a full minute of just the two of them catching their breath. Sangwoo was gathering his thoughts, while Yoonbum was simply trying to calm the flush on his face. He couldn't see it, but he knew from how warm he felt that his cheeks must be pretty pink.

Yoonbum was about to sit up on the couch, instead of partially laying down on his side, but changed his mind once he thought it through. Sangwoo turned to look at the man moving beside him.

"I'd rather not have that mess on my couch." Sangwoo said bluntly, his facial expression returning to its usual neutral state.

"Ah-" Yoonbum started awkwardly. "Right."

"Why'd you let me do that to you anyway?" Sangwoo asked, reaching for his bottle of beer he had previously left on the table.

Yoonbum was straining to reach his boxers that were on the floor, barely grasping them before answering Sangwoo. "Wha- what do you mean?"

Sangwoo took a long drink of his beer, and taking note of Yoonbum carefully sliding back into his underwear. "I mean, why did you let me?" He spoke with more aggression this time.

Dark brown eyes looked at Sangwoo, confused. "I-I don't understand." Yoonbum was sitting up now, the couch being soft enough to minimize some pain. His eyebrows furrowed a bit as he tried to figure out what Sangwoo was getting at. "If you mean the sex, I didn't really have much choice in the matter, did I?" Yoonbum was honestly trying to lighten the mood a bit, but the concerned look on his face and anxious feelings resulting from Sangwoo's tone made that difficult.

"I knew you wanted it. I just didn't realize you wanted it so bad that you'd let me be that rough on you."

Yoonbum felt warmth rush to his cheeks again, right after finally calming down somewhat. He wasn't sure how to respond, Sangwoo always seemed to be on a different page than Yoonbum, as if they didn't just experience the same thing.

Instead of speaking, Yoonbum simply found himself staring at Sangwoo. He desperately wanted to be reunited with his bare skin. It may have only been a short episode of exposure, but it felt as though he was going through withdrawals. To go straight from the hot and overwhelming intimacy to this cold conversation was like someone ripping your warm blanket off of you in the morning. You always want to immediately take it back, to be embraced by its warmth once more.

Sangwoo doesn't seem like the type to cuddle... but I also didn't think he was the type to like me, so I guess I don't know him as well as I thought I did. But he also seems irritated... I don't know what I did to upset him... If I moved over... and grabbed onto him... would he stop me? He's just sitting there... naked...

"Are you zoning out again, Fruitcake?" Sangwoo brought his face closer to Yoonbum's by setting down his beer and leaning forward a bit.

Yoonbum blinked, unaware of how long he'd been off in wonderland.

"Fruit... cake?"

"Do you know how to hold a conversation? Or do you zone out every time?"

Yoonbum looked directly into Sangwoo's eyes, hearing what he was saying, but not really registering it. He couldn't stop himself from stretching out one arm and placing his hand on Sangwoo's bare chest.

Sangwoo briefly glanced down at the pale fingers pressing into his flesh before returning his gaze to Yoonbum's somewhat dazed look.

"You know I lied, right?" He said, once again breaking the silence.

"Lied?" Yoonbum blinked and looked up to meet Sangwoo's eyes. "About what?"

"The lube." He said coldly. "I have some in my bedroom."

Yoonbum's fingers stopped kneading Sangwoo's skin, and the rest of him froze as well.

"Then w-why did you say- why didn't you use it?"

"I didn't want to."

"But- it would have been easier... I don't under-"

"I didn't want to have sex with you." Sangwoo interrupted, pushing Yoonbum's hand off of him.

Yoonbum's eyes widened before narrowing down in confusion. He felt a sharp pang in his chest when Sangwoo swatted his hand away. The words being spoken definitely didn't feel good either. The older male averted his gaze away from Sangwoo and let his black hair fall in front of his face.

"I don't understand..." Yoonbum mumbled.

Sangwoo once again retrieved his beer from the table and took a drink before speaking. "Well, I was thinking going at it raw would be a deterrent for you, and then you would've left. But then you went ahead begging for it anyway, so I had to fuck you."

Is that how he really remembers what just happened? He asked me over here, but now he obviously wants me to leave.

Yoonbum's thoughts ran as he picked up his pants from the floor and put them on before sitting back down on the couch. He didn't know how to respond to Sangwoo without risking making him even more upset.

"I'm- I'm sorry. I didn't mean..." Yoonbum picked at his fingernails as he tried to find the best words for the situation. "... I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I thought that- that you wanted me... to."

Sangwoo watched as Yoonbum spoke. He looked so confused and flustered, and yet, he didn't seem angry. Usually people would be shouting back by now, calling Sangwoo all sorts of names, and rushing out to leave. But this man, Yoonbum, wasn't. Sangwoo was going to have to try harder. He couldn't have him here anymore.

"You thought that I wanted you?" Sangwoo asked to clarify.

Yoonbum finally turned his head to meet Sangwoo's eyes again. "Y-you asked me over here, didn't you? And you began touching me..." Yoonbum felt his face get hot, and he bit the inside of his lip to stop the tears from welling up in his eyes. "So yes; I thought that..."

Sangwoo's dead pan glare was all that responded for a long minute.

"Well, you thought wrong." Sangwoo said curtly before downing the last of his beer. "So if you would leave now, that would be best.

"Sangwoo..." Yoonbum extended a hand towards Sangwoo as a last resort, hoping a simple touch would change his mind, but his attempt was cut short when Sangwoo again swatted him away.

"Leave. I don't want you here anymore."