Two Hearts in a Cold Street

25. Begging

"Goodnight, everyoneeee.." Sehun bid his goodbye to all of us, we finally call it night and decided to go back to the hotel.

"Goodnight, see you tomorrow!" I waved at him and the others, me and Harvey still at parking area because we need to bring back our snacks while the other went back to their room first. After finally shared our belongings which obviously Harvey bring most of it, we walked inside the lobby.

"I wish tomorrow we'll crush it." Harvey seemed enthusiast.

"We will, I'm sure tomorrow will be great day for us. And I will documented you guys."

"Make sure you will take my pictures a lot, nunna." Harvey said to me.

"No worries, my good looking little brother~" we laughed as I feel someone walked closer behind us.

"Charlie."

Harvey and me turned our back in sync.

I can't believe my eyes. Oh my God, this guy! Didn't we just met for like an hour ago?!

"Excuse me, mate. Do we know you?" Harvey asked to Dean, bewildered.

"I'm Dean." Dean introduced himself, "AJ's cousin, I believe we met at AJ's birthday party."

"Shit, sorry I didn't notice you earlier. I remember now, what's up mate?" Harvey greeted him more friendly, these guys...

"No worries." Dean patted Harvey's shoulder, "Can I talk with Charlie for a moment?"

"Charlie nunna?" Harvey looked at me, making sure he heard it right.

This can't be happen anymore, I need to stop this.

"Harvey, I think it will take long. Can you can go back first, please?" I asked him, sending telepathy to not ask me more questions.

"I will get her back safely, trust me." Dean added.

Harvey glanced at Dean then looked back at me, "Are you sure?"

I nodded confidently.

------

I decided to lead the way, so I walked to the hotel's garden beside swimming pool area. I didn't say anything but I know Dean follows behind me.

I freeze when Dean put his long coat on me, even though he didn't touch me directly, I hate to admit that he still gives me goosebumps at everything he does to me.

"Don't take it off, please. I feel like you need it because it's cold and we're outside now."

I didn't respond at him.

He was right behind me, I could see his shadow on the pavement.

"You probably want to slap or hit me, please do it. Just don't leave before you hear my explanation, I beg you."  he began.

Even his shadow on the pavement looks gloomy.

"I.. I loved her." his confession made my heart shattered into pieces even more.

Could he be more cruel than this?

I held my breathe for a moment. An uninvited pain stung my chest, there's something painful inside but you couldn't exactly tell where it was. You can only feel it, there' nothing you could do to reduce the pain.

"At least, that's what I thought.." he stammered, "She was my long term crush, she's the girl that I've told you before. The girl that made me confused because her game.."

It's okay.. I will be okay, I will let him talk as much as he want to tonight. We wouldn't meet each other ever again in the future.

"The night we met, she called me to come over. As you probably know, I went there. I chose her over you, I.. I finally get what I wanted. She's the one that I dream about for a long time, until you came... being so nice and sweet to me. I'm aware that I'm an asshole for taking advantage of your kindness, I thought I will be happy when I'm with her. That's why I didn't need you anymore.."

I can't bear it anymore so I turned around and my palm landed on his cheek, loud and hurt. Dean didn't even bother to touch his red cheek, he's still there looking at me with his reddened eyes.

"I deserve more than slap in the face."

I should've feel ease at last, I should've feel happy at last. But why does my heart hurt so much? So much pain that I couldn't bear it anymore, I couldn't think of anything. Should I throw thing at him? Would it make me feel better?

The answer is no.

"I dated her while keep comparing her with you. At first I thought it's probably because I spent more time with you before her and it will stop eventually. But it didn't, it never happen. Whenever she does something,  I just can't stop thinking about you. How you will respond my joke, my sarcasm, what will you said if I said something funny and stupid.. "

Dean didn't even blink, he kept staring at me as he speaks, "... I was sure I like her, that I was so head over heels crazy about her since a long time. While you and me, we've known each other only for few months. That's impossible for my heart to change so easily, I kept convince myself that you didn't matter at all. But It didn't last long, I ended up breakup with her within a month."

Then you should come for me that time, should've call me and explain this to me. Why now? Why you didn't do it sooner?

I'd want to spit all those questions to him, but the only thing I did was shedding tears. I didn't even have energy to wipe my tears, I don't care what he thinks about me when he's in front of me, watching me crying like a fool.

"I was too ashamed to call you, you probably didn't want me back. But, but when I see you again that night, you're still you.. you're still the sweet Charlie as you always do."

I kept my head low, looking at the ground. I noticed that Dean wanted to step closer but he held himself, he clenched his fist as his voice getting more raspy.

"That's the time when I gathered myself, I want to protect you.  I want you to look at me like how you used to be,  I want to bring back that smile on your face again.. I want to be part of your life.I know how shameless I'm right now, but I like you so much. I don't want to hold my feeling anymore, I don't want to lose you. And I don't think I can stand if I see you with someone else. Yeah, I'm that selfish bastard, I know. Whatever you say to me will never change the way I feel about you. Even if it hurts me, I can bear the pain. I will take it as punishment."

"Please give me chance, Charlie. Go on date with me, just once. Even if you had someone else in your mind right now, I don't mind. I still want to try, I want to win you back. I want you to love me.."

I finally looked up at him, not caring about my wet cheeks wet with tears. "Is it because of Gray? You think it's so annoying if you lose to him?"

"No." he said firmly, "Gray or no Gray it doesn't matter, other guys out there don't matter anyway. It's not a game for me, it's my last chance to take back what I really need. It's you.."

"Why are you doing this to me, Dean?" I sobbed, "Why are you trying so hard?"

Perhaps I was too tired this day, mentally and physically exhausted that's why my legs couldn't support my weight anymore. Whatever that is, I feel my body limp, slumping until squat on the pavement.  So there I was, sitting squat while hiding my face to my arms, crying even harder than ever. I didn't know how long I cried, but Dean ended up kneeling in front of me, fixing his coat to keep me warm.

"I'm sorry.. I'm really sorry." he whispered before embrace me to his hug.

That night, we spent it with crying our hearts out.