Divergent: A Retelling

The Line Between Faction and Factionless

After dinner, Four disappears and leaves us with Eric. He leads us down a long dark hallway without saying anything about where we're going. Why would a Dauntless leader be in charge of a bunch of transfer initiates?

There are blue lamps along the walls, just like when we were walking to the pit. And there are dark spaces in between them. I begin to think that every hallway looks the same here. Multiple times I stumble on uneven ground, and everytime I hear Peter and his friends laugh at me. For the glorious hour or two we hadn't been near each other, I'd almost forgotten about him. Almost. I walk behind Christina and Tris in silence. No one has said a word since we left, even though no one told us we couldn't speak. Up ahead is a wooden door, and Eric stops in front of it and turns to look at us, arms crossed. "For those of you who don't know, my name is Eric. I'm one of the five leaders here at Dauntless, and we take training here very seriously. So I volunteered to oversee some of it."

The thought makes me cringe. The fact that a Dauntless leader is watching us is enough, but Eric? It was almost enough to make me want to be factionless.

"Some ground rules before we begin," he says loudly. "You must be in the training room every morning at eight AM, no exceptions! Training takes place every day from eight to six, with a break for lunch. You are free to do whatever it is you like afterwards. And you will also get time off between each stage of initiation." We get breaks? Leisure time every day? In Amity, you only get leisure time on weekends. Water breaks every hour when working the field. "You are only permitted to leave the compound if with a member of Dauntless. No exceptions." I suppress a yawn, exhausted from the day. "Behind this door is the room you all will be sleeping in for the next few weeks. You will notice that there are ten beds, and ten of you." "But we started with twelve,'' says Christina, almost angrily. I kick her leg from behind. She needs to learn when to stay quiet. "There's always at least one transfer who doesn't make it to the compound." Says Eric, picking his cuticles. "Anyway," He says with a shrug, "In the first stage of initiation, we keep transfers and Dauntless-born separate, but that doesn't mean you're evaluated separately. At the end of stage one, your rankings will be compared to the Dauntless-born initiates. And they're better than you already, so I expect-" "Rankings?" Asks the dark brown haired Erudite girl from earlier. "Why are we ranked?" Eric smiles, and my stomach fills with dread. Again, I don't know why she's surprised. This is Dauntless. This is what we signed up for, or rather, cut for when we dripped our blood onto the hot coals. "Your rankings serve two purposes. The first, is to determine what job you'll have after initiation. And there are only a few desirable positions left. My stomach swirls uneasily. "The second purpose is that only the top fifteen initiates are made members of Dauntless." My stomach drops and the hairs on the back of my neck raise. Goosebumps crawl all over my skin. Everyone is completely still.

"What?" Says Christina, shocked.

"There are eleven Dauntless-born and ten of you. Four initiates will be cut after stage one, and the rest after the final test."

That means that, all-in-all, at least six initiates will be cut and will not be members. My odds as an Amity transfer, the only Amity transfer; are not good. I see people stir uncomfortably in my peripheral vision. "What do we do if we get cut?" Asks Peter from behind me "You leave Dauntless and live with the factionless." The Erudite girl beside Tris gasps and clamps a hand over her mouth. Honestly. It doesn't bother me. I will not be factionless. I will not. "But... that's not fair!" Says a tall, broad Candor girl next to me. "If we had known-" "Then you wouldn't have chosen Dauntless?" Says Eric, cutting her off.

"If that's the case," Says Eric coldly. "You should leave now. If you're really ready to be one of us, it won't matter that you might be factionless. If it does, you're a coward."

Eric opens the door to our quarters and smiles maliciously. "You chose us, now we get to choose you."

I walk in and walk to a bed across the room with Christina and Tris. I sit down and Peter sits on the bed across from me. "No." I say, shaking my head, he's already looking for another bed. It's too late. All the beds are taken. "Looks like I'm your new bunkmate, sunshine."

Says Peter as he grabs the clothes from the drawer underneath his bed. This is my worst nightmare. I consider getting up to ask someone if they wanted to trade, but that would involve talking to people. That was almost as intimidating as sleeping next to a guy. Especially this guy.

"Don't get used to it. It's only for a couple weeks." I say, grabbing my own clothes. I find some black pajamas, and then black pants, a black t-shirt, and a black jacket with black socks and black boots.

I look at Tris, who is in the bed that sits above my head. "Where are we supposed to change?" She shrugs, and then Christina answers, by taking off her clothes. "Right here." She pulls off her shirt. There are a few whoops and whistles as she changes, and my stomach drops. Change out in the open? I couldn't. Especially not with Peter right next to me, who was already done changing. I turn scarlet as I look around. Everyone was changing. I look at Tris. "No way." She says, shaking her head. She puts her clothes back under her bed. "I'm not gonna do it. I'll just sleep in my clothes." She says as she leans over to take off her shoes. I think about it, but decide that my clothes would not be comfortable, that and, being the only person wearing bright yellow, I stood out a lot more than I wanted to.

I bite the inside of my lip as I lean over to take off my boots and socks. Then I stand up, clenching my teeth, and let my jacket drop to the floor. I take off my overalls and quickly put on the black shorts they give us for pajamas. Then I grab my shirt from the bottom and pull it over my head. The moment I take my shirt off, I'm met with whoops and whistles. I quickly grab my sleep shirt and pull it on.

I lay down and pull my blanket to my chest. I lay on my back and stare at the bunk above mine as the lights go out. Voices quiet down and the room is filled with the breathing of nine other people.

I've never slept in the same room as the male species, but here I have no other choice. I remember having my own room. The perfect view of the fields and orchards from my window. A comfortable bed, my family. The intimidation of Dauntless floods me. My fear of being factionless creeps into the back of my head. There's heat behind my eyes, but I suppress it. Terrible anxiety makes it hard to breathe. The tears form in my eyes. I can't cry. I haven't cried in years. Well, that's not true. If I've ever really hurt myself, I'd cry for a minute; but I haven't cried over internal pain since my dad died. A tear slips out of my eye, and then another. The sob in my throat makes it's way up and I cover my mouth with my hand, making it silent. I try to take a deep breath, but then stifle another sob. I try to be as quiet as I can and try to calm myself down.

I guess I miss Amity more than I would've thought. Miss my family more than I would've thought.

I remind myself that it's a good thing I'm here. I have almost friends for the first time in years. I can be reckless and no one will tell me to stop. I can beat up Peter and won't be suspended for it.

The thought makes me laugh on the inside. I have a place where I belong. Well, mostly. 40% to be exact. The other 60% of me doesn't belong here. It belongs in Amity and Erudite and Candor and Abnegation. I remember that Visiting day is in a week and a half. Will my family show? Sam can't hate me, he's incapable.

Adam doesn't either. I saw his face when I chose Dauntless. He was proud. It makes me feel proud. But Valerie. She was stunned. She didn't see it coming. She might've understood if it were any other faction, but Dauntless? The most dangerous one? She looked horrified for me. What would my dad say?

I push the thoughts from my mind. I need to sleep. I have my first training day tomorrow. I can't be off guard, especially not around Peter.

I match my breathing with everyone else's and try to fall asleep.

The silence is interrupted by the strangled sound of a sob. It's two beds up, Al, the largest transfer from Candor. His bed squeaks as he turns to muffle his sobs into his pillow.

He's the biggest one here, yet he's breaking down like the weakest. It almost makes me upset. Why can't he suffer in silence like I did?

He's loud enough to keep me awake. I wonder, is anyone else awake, suffering in silence as Al sobs into his pillow?

I swallow and remember what I learned from Amity. Love everyone no matter their weakness, It does not define them. Here it does, until you turn it into your strength.