Heaven's Sea 天涯海国 (BxB)

Episode 38

With the ice coffin wrapped tightly in a blanket to slow down its melting, Zhi Shu carried it on his back. Lao Wen was taller than him, therefore the coffin was longer than Zhi Shu's full body length. So he carried it slightly tilted otherwise he wouldn't be able to walk. Passing snow hills, crossing icy paths and deserted forests, and finally reaching town, Zhi Shu was exhausted and starving. He hadn't eaten for several days. And it was starting to get dark again.

He's slept in the winter woods on an empty stomach many nights already. One of those nights he was lucky enough to catch a rabbit during a night hunt, but when he caught it, it reminded him of the last time he went rabbit-hunting with Lao Wen, the time when they cut and clean the rabbits together, playfully splashed each other with water, then cooked the meat in the fire, ate together with Chang Ling, and drank wine under the moonlit breezy night. It brought too many memories, sweet and bitter, but when he realized that he would be eating this rabbit alone that night, and the animal's eyes were begging for mercy, he set it free and boy, did it run for its life.

After he lost the man he loved, he discovered how precious life truly was. It wasn't precious for the people that died, it was precious for those that lived, those that had to mourn every day for their loved one, until they themselves took their last breath. Who knows, the rabbit might have a lover waiting for it to go home to. Sigh.

He stopped at the first tavern he found. He still had some silver maces left from 20 plus years ago. When he took his money pouch out, he counted 4 silver maces. He didn't remember spending much, except to buy liquor, yet there were only 4 maces left in the pouch. Oh yeah, that's right, his sugar baby spent most of it.

"Had his own money but would rather spend mine. Now I only have 4 maces to live on." Zhi Shu murmured, before ordering some noodle soup and steam buns. The soup was for now. The buns was for the long trip ahead where he would try to find Heaven's sea and cure his sugar baby, the one that spent all his money except for the last 4 sorry maces.

"Would you like something to drink too, sir?" The tavern kid asked politely. He reminded him of Chang Ling. He forgot that Chang Ling was a grown man now, not a kid anymore. Perhaps married and with kids of his own... Anyway ,wine didn't taste warm without his Lao Wen to drink with. And he was not a tea drinker.

"No thank you." Zhi Shu handed him his empty wine flask. "If you would just fill this up with fresh water, I would really appreciate that."

Water was free.

"How about a room, you have this big huge box on your back, would you like to rest here tonight and continue your trip tomorrow? Our rooms are very reasonably priced. We can carry your box to the wood shed and leave it there overnight at no extra cost." The tavern kid asked as he noticed the big luggage.

"THIS IS MINE. IT STAYS WITH ME ! AT ALL TIMES !! WHOEVER COMES NEAR IT IS A DEAD MAN !!!" Zhi Shu warned with a loud authoritative and commanding leader-of-Tian-Chuang voice, and out of reflex, he extended his arm over to pat the box, making sure it was still secured on his back. Of course it was. Where else could it have gone. It was a box, for god's sake. And a very heavy one too. If somebody took it from him, he certainly would have noticed.

But touching it reassured him that Lao Wen was right there with him. And the thought comforted him. But when he raised his voice, it had attracted the attention of nearby patrons, who were now wondering what was inside the box. Treasures? Jewelries? Stolen goods?

----

'My Ah Xu is so sweet, so protective! He used the same loud voice that resonated with my "NOBODY BULLIES MY AH XU !!!" voice when I was leader of the Ghost Tribe. Oh and he said that I'm his. He said that I'm his! That means he's mine. Ah Xu is mine! My Ah Xu! Ah Xu... Ah Xu'

----

"No problem sir, please don't worry. We will not come near your box. But you cannot sit down with this box on your back. Are you going to eat standing up?" The tavern kid asked, puzzled.

Zhi Shu was very tired from the long trip and needed to sit down and rest, even for just the duration of a meal. He looked around and saw a free table at the corner. He went there and carefully put down the box, in a vertical position, right next to him, with one knee and one elbow touching it, and asked the tavern kid to serve him food in this corner table. As he was eating, he overheard some conversations from the table next to him. A small group of men were talking casually. From what they were saying, Zhi Shu understood that the prince of Jin had been defeated.

自古 无不亡之国 不败之家

Although the Qin Dynasty successfully established itself after it engulfed other states, the empire lasted only 15 years.

All the bloodshed and raids, hundreds of thousands of lives wasted, only for a mere 15 years of sovereignty, just to be overthrown by an uneducated rebel named Lui Bang - founder of Han.

Prince of Han himself was now facing several military campaigns launched against him by other warring states. More wars would come, more homes would be devastated. Who knew how long the Han would last, Zhi Shu thought to himself. Why did people never change, always seeking power and wealth, when love was the only thing that truly mattered.

Then Zhi Shu realized he himself was like that at one point, he craved recognition, power, wealth, he served in the palace for a ruthless emperor, until all his mistakes and regrets swallowed him in a wave of agony. Then he cowardly used the 7 nails torture to beg for freedom in exchange for 2 years of peaceful life. Life was peaceful indeed, sunbathing and drinking every day without a care, until a handsome man dressed in white flashed a gorgeous smile at him, forcefully ripped his shirt, slashed open his chest, grabbed his heart, buried it in his own chest, and then died with it inside, a man whose body was now in this box by his dining table.

Zhi Shu swallowed. He shouldn't be complaining. Not everybody was lucky like him, at least he was given a second chance. He found his soulmate. A selfish son of a b who died so he could live, but his soulmate nevertheless. As much as Zhi Shu was mad at Lao Wen, he understood. Because he would have done the same thing if given the opportunity. And he knew that Lao Wen would be the one carrying him in an ice box right now. They knew each other too well. They were zhi zi. And Zhi Shu would rather be the one who suffered the most -- that is, the one carrying the box -- if given the choice. The one being carried suffered less.

Perhaps in Lao Wen's mind, his Ah Xu saved him from his revengeful mindset when he was on the verge of lunacy, but from Zhi Shu's point of view, it was Lao Wen that came to his rescue when he no longer had any reason to live except drinking. He gave him love, brought him joy, made him feel like a kid all over again. It was a feeling that no words could describe. When somebody found you attractive despite how obnoxious your disguise was, believed in you when nobody else would, came to your rescue every time you were in danger, brought out your inner good that you didn't even know still had remnants of, and sparked newfound human sexual desires that the 7 nails have completely numbed your body from, that - that was true love.

Zhi Shu finished the bowl of noodles, collected his water flask, paid the bill, and looked outside. It was already dark. He hoped to find a broken down temple to spend the night for free. He only had 3 maces and a few pence left. He carefully positioned himself to carry the blanketed ice coffin on his back, and walked away from the tavern.

The shadow of a man in pain with his dead lover on his back gradually disappeared in the dark of night.