~Author's Note:~
Hey guys! So I'm going to try to update as often as possible, but I can't promise it will be very often. If you like it, vote and comment so I can know!
*Niall's POV*
I turned my head to the left, watching as Harry slipped his shoes back on and then made his way out of my bedroom without a single word. It was only moments later that I heard the front door of my flat shut and then the engine of his car as he drove away. He shouldn't be driving, he was drunk. But I knew he sure as hell wouldn't stay here. With a shaky sigh I turned to face my wall and gathered my blankets and sheets around my cold and naked body. A single tear fell down my cheek with a steady current of tears to follow.
This all started a couple months ago. Not me loving him though, that started over a year ago. For over a year I had allowed myself to be in love with Harry, although I had forced myself to try to ignore these feelings for the most part. It's hard to ignore feelings for someone that you see practically every day. Especially if they're your best friend and you're on tour with them for months at a time.
One night after a big concert of ours back in the States, the boys and I went out to drink and celebrate how well the tour had been going so far. We all got a drunk, aside from Liam and Louis who wasn't completely drunk like Harry, Zayn and I. I slammed down quite a few drinks as I jealously watched Harry laugh and talk with Louis that night, but when we got back to our hotel and our assigned rooms things changed. Since we were only in this city for one night we were sharing rooms. Louis and Zayn were sharing a room, Liam had Danielle in town that week so she stayed in his room, and I was rooming with Harry.
I had flopped backwards onto my bed and my eyes had drooped closed, but the next thing I knew there was a pair of lips pressed against mine. I opened my eyes to see the face of the person I loved. I didn't care that he was drunk, I was drunk too. Without a second thought, we were both naked and he was thrusting into me. That was the first time.
After that one night Harry's late night visits became quite frequent. He would normally come to me at least once a week while we were on tour, either rooming with me or knocking on my door later at night when he was clearly intoxicated. After the tour had ended, I assumed so would our late night sessions but I was wrong. We hadn't even been off of tour for 5 days when Harry pounded on my door late at night. I was half asleep when I opened the door, but suddenly I felt the familiar cold, alcohol traced lips pressed against mine.
I always let him in, even though each time I did it I found myself regretting it and slightly hating myself a bit more. I never wanted to be somebody's pet, especially not his. I wanted to be his lover, his equal or else nothing but his best friend. But that's not how it worked in this situation because I didn't have the balls to say no, therefore it's been 3 months and I'm still silently letting Harry fuck me.
The next morning my alarm woke me up as a dreadful reminder that we had an interview today. It wasn't that I hated interviews necessarily; it was the fact that I had to wake up early and face Harry after last night knowing he wouldn't remember a detail of it. That feeling always broke my heart. He would grin easily and treat me like his best friend without a glimmer of recognition as to what happened.
I pulled myself out of bed, showered and brushed my teeth then headed into my closet. I pulled on my blue skinny jeans and a quarter length white t-shirt before putting on my shoes and grabbing my cell phone from its charger. I did a quick check to see if I had any text messages; only a reminder message from Liam about where the interview was. After eating my toast with jam I put my sunglasses on, grabbed my car keys and was out the door.
I practically raced into the backstage area of the interview studio since I was 5 minutes late from the time we were instructed to show. Damn traffic. "Hey Niall," Liam greeted me cheerily, "You should go get your touch ups." I headed into the room where Liam pointed but stopped a few feet in the room when I noticed Harry and Louis seemed to be in an argument, they never fought. I blinked a couple times as I looked over Harry. It always amazed me how he would be so put together the next morning when he had been drunk just the night before.
"You need to stop Harry." Louis whispered harshly.
"You can't tell me what to do; you're not the boss of me." Harry snapped, "Besides I'm a grown boy, thanks for the advice though."
"You don't get it Harry! You're so stuck on yourself, you can't just think of yourself here." Louis hissed, then looked up and saw me. His eyes widened slightly and he casually tapped Harry, who then turned to look at me. Both boys quickly put on smiles.
"Morning Nialler!" Louis said, going over and hugging me. I hugged him back with obvious confusion, "Morning Louis, is everything alright?"
"Everything's perfectly fine." Harry said, smiling at me as Louis pulled away. I wasn't so sure, it was unusual for them to be fighting at all, but then the reaction that Louis had when he saw me made me feel as though they had been talking about me...
"Niall come over here so I can do your makeup." Lou called from the corner of the room. As I headed over to her, I noticed that Louis watched me go. It was as if he were observing me for some sort of answer.
"We're not done discussing this." Louis said sternly to Harry before he turned and walked out of the room. Through the mirror I was facing, I could see Harry sigh and look over at me. His eyes lingered for a moment before he followed Louis out. Glancing up at Lou I could tell she knew more than me, especially from the way her mouth was in a grim, straight line and the way she was looking at me. It was as if everyone around me was joining in on a secret that I would be left out of.
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