Holding On

Chapter 6

Now did you think it all through?
All these things will catch up to you.
And time can heal but this won't.
So if you come in my way, just don't.

Taylor Swift, Bad Blood

—-

Marinette was probably going to burn a hole through the floor soon, with all that pacing. She hadn't been able to go to sleep last night and had finally given up on trying to relax at four. She tried watching tv, studying, even tried working on a new dress, without any success. So at six, she started rambling out loud to an exhausted Tikki, who simply watched her chosen slowly lose her mind.

"It doesn't necessarily mean what I think it means, right?"

"Right."

"It could mean literally anything."

"Of course."

"Maybe... Maybe he fell in love with me... twice. Oh my god, Tikki, he fell in love with me twice!"

"And is this bad?"

"I don't know," Marinette admitted, staring through the window. "I always thought that he couldn't possibly love the real me. That I was nothing more in his eyes than a mere fantasy."

"I keep telling you that those fears aren't legitimate. You are Ladybug with -"

"And without the suit. I know. But still." She turned to look at her little friend. "Do you think he loves me? Both sides? Or do you think he..." She stopped herself, unable to say her fear out loud.

"Or what?"

"Do you think he knows?" she finally whispered.

"Marinette..."

"The way he looks at me is the same, Tikki. He either figured it out, or he fell in love with me again and I... I don't know how I feel about either of these possibilities."

"Marinette," her mother called from downstairs, "wake up! You're gonna be late!"

"Coming!" she screamed back before lowering her voice again only her kwami would hear. "Gosh, this is a disaster."

"You'll have time to think about it later. Now it's time to get ready! You can't be late again!"

Marinette nodded. "Ok, yeah, I just need to stop thinking about it so I'm not gonna be late again. Got it. Easy peasy. Everything's fine. Nothing's wrong. I mean, why would anything be wrong? I think everything is absolutely perfect. My life is normal, isn't it? Everyone talks to some god-like creature that kind of looks like a ladybug without being totally identical, right? And it's perfectly normal behaviour for a teenage girl to run around on rooftops with a guy dressed like a cat in leather who might or might not be in love with both sides of me, all while fighting some villains created by some as-"

"Marinette!"

"Right yeah sorry!"

Marinette, although still unable to clear her thoughts, finally managed to get dressed and ran downstairs, Tikki carefully hidden in her purse. Still lost in her thoughts, she grabbed something to eat on the table and was ready to leave when Sabine stopped her.

"Oh, chérie, before I forget, your father and I have a little meeting with your director tonight."

Marinette paused, a croissant halfway into her mouth and one hand on the door. "Uh?"

"He kept rescheduling, but enough is enough. We will be meeting tonight with him, and give him a little piece of our minds. Bullying is unacceptable and this damn school needs to learn how to deal with it. First Chloe, now this Lila..."