Irrational Anger ( MXM)

016.

Ryan was nervous, he didn't know what to say or do. This was his first date in all his years of living and he was freaking out. Right now he was regretting his decision, why did he even accept to come on this date, his palms were sweating, he was literally shaking all over. He should have resisted, this doesn't feel right at all. whenever Blake smiles at him his stomach twists in Knots not in the good way but in the bad way, he was beyond nervous.

He hasn't said a word to Blake since they arrived at restaurant, it was only Blake who was talking about his Job how he loves it and many shit Ryan didn't care about or get because he was in his head. All Ryan did was to hum and nod his head and giving him a small smile when he didn't get what the man was talking about. Ryan wasn't interested in what Blake was talking about, he wasn't interested in Blake's job, he didn't want to know the man because no matter what nothing will happen between them. All Ryan wanted right now  was to go back home and snuggle himself in his bed and sleep or watch a cartoon movie with Troy. That would have been nice.

"So Ryan tell me about yourself" Blake asked when the waiter took their orders. Ryan bit his lips tightly, gripping the bottom of the table in anger, he didn't want to talk about himself.

"There is nothing to talk about Blake, why don't you talk more about yourself" Ryan fired back making Blake to snicker loudly at the tone Ryan used. Blake knew Ryan wasn't easy at all, the man was fierce, that's what intrigued Blake more to the man and from the day he saw him he wanted Ryan to be his and Blake will make sure of that.

This was the first step he was taking, for years he had asked Ryan on the date and the answer he got was a very hard no every time and finally Ryan had said yes finally so he was gonna use this chance and pursue the man more. Blake was on the moon that's why he wants to make this date memorable. "I have been talking about myself since we arrived but if you have anything specific you want know ask me" Blake said politely ignoring Ryan's attitude, if he didn't get that response from Ryan, Blake would be disappointed and he will be worried about Ryan. Blake knows Ryan from top to bottom.

Ryan sighed lowly "are you married" Blake laughed  shaking his head in disbelief. What kind of question is that"did I say something funny" Ryan was confused, he just asked a question. Or it was not the right questions to ask on a date. Ryan asked himself feeling embarrassed.

Blake gulped his drink shaking his head "no no it's not funny" Blake was quick to reply "I am not married Ryan I shouldn't be with you here if I was"  he finally replied.

"You should have said so instead of laughing" Ryan rolled his eyes.

"I am sorry I thought it was obvious" Blake said sincerely.

Ryan nodded slowly "why aren't you married though um you look thirty something" Ryan asked curiously, yes Ryan wasn't attracted to Blake at all but that doesn't mean that the man wasn't handsome or attractive but in Ryan's eyes he was just Blake. Troy's teacher nothing more.

Thinking about it, Ryan was like that with all men, no man is attractive or handsome in his eyes. They are all just men nothing special about them.Blake looked to be in thoughts thinking too hard his face held sadness, that caught Ryan's attention, looking at him in confusion. Did Ryan ask the wrong question.

"If you don't want to tell me don't" Ryan said leaning against his chair, he was really bored, if all dates are always like this, than Ryan wouldn't want to have another one. Ryan flickered around the beautiful restaurant and Ryan gasped when his eyes met with the blue angry eyes. Ryan's heart quickened as they made eyes contact with the devil himself. 'what was the devil doing here' Ryan asked himself adjusting in his seat uncomfortably.

"No it's not that I don't want to tell you but it brings bad memories which I want to burry " Ryan wasn't listening what Blake was saying all his eyes were glaring at the devil. Oh God he hates the man with all his being. The more he looks at him, the more Ryan's anger surface all over his body "are you ok" Blake's worried voice pulled him out of his thoughts gazing at Blake but still he can feel the devil's eyes on him burning through his body.