that street racer// billie eilish

chapter 19

blair's pov
"fuck, i can't sleep" i groan, sitting up. i check my phone and realize it's already 4:30am. i turn my led lights on green, deciding on rolling a blunt. i stop when i hear scratching at my door. i stand up, opening my door, letting bellamy walk in.
"hey buddy, can't sleep either huh?" i mumble, rubbing him before sitting back down and playing drive my car by landon cube. once i finish, i slip my crocs on, quietly going downstairs.
"lets go for a walk" i whisper, grabbing his leash and my keys. i open the door, quietly closing it, before walking up the street to the park. when i finally reach the park, i let bellamy go, making my way to the swings. i play one of my songs that i just finished, lighting my blunt.
"i pray that one day you leave me, before i leave you" i quietly sing along. "i hate to know that you don't need me like i need you.
like i need you
and i'm slipping through
right back to you" i stop, pausing my song, when i hear branches snapping behind me. i immediately turn my head, noticing billie's small figure standing by the gate, bellamy immediately running up to her. she walks over slowly, slightly limping.
"you never told me you can sing" she smiles, sitting on the swing beside me.
"didn't think it was important" i chuckle, taking a hit of my blunt.
"who is it by?" she ask, swinging closer to me.
"me" i respond, rubbing bellamy.
"no way, let me hear it" she smiles, reaching for my phone.
"no one has heard it before, i just only finished it" i explain, hesitant on letting her hear it because it's so vulnerable.
"only if you want to" she reassures.
"no, i want you to hear it. i decided to call it hydroxyzine interlude, by the way" i nod my head, starting the song. i tap my blunt, nervous for what billie might think of it.
"wow, this is beautiful" she whispers, after the first verse, closing her eyes. i watch as her hair sways to the slight breeze, and her button nose slightly twitching.
make the pain go away
make me forget the truth
tell me i'll be okay
i swear i'll believe it too
ohh, i swear i'll believe it too
"blair, this is hitting me in places i didn't know exist" she chuckles. "can you send this to me?" she ask.
"fo sho, and that means a lot coming from you" i smile.
"who's it about?"
"riley. i wrote it right after our final break up, but after all the trouble i got in was when i was finally able to explain how i truly felt and let my emotions out" i explain. "ain't it crazy how our emotions can inspire us to create shit like this" i smile, shaking my head.
"yeah, it is... especially if the listener is also able to relate to the song it just... hits harder" she says, meeting my eyes. "are you gonna post it?" she ask.
"oh um, probably not, just something i like to do on the side. it's kinda scary knowing i'll be giving strangers a look into my life and they can interpret it however they want too" i shrug my shoulders.
"true, but the best part is knowing some can actually relate to it and especially heal from your work" she smiles, looking at the sky.
"that requires something special and you definitely have that" i add.
"so do you" she smiles, making eye contact with me.
"nahh that's all you, mama" i chuckle, taking my last hit before tossing the roach. i check my phone, realizing it's already 5. "holy shit, i need to get some sleep" my eyes widening, as i stand up. i whistle, bellamy comes running up me, billing walking by my side.
"you good tho, what got you up so late?" i ask, shoving my hands in my pockets.
"oh, yeah... i just needed some air" she smiles, shivering.
"you can talk to me, you know?" i reassure, slinging my arm over her shoulder, in attempt to give her some warmth.
"yeah, i know" she whispers, leaning in to my side.
7:50am
"oh fuck me" i sigh, my alarm going off. i turn on my side, grabbing my phone from my nightstand, turning it off. i take a quick shower, tossing my hair into a messy bun before brushing my teeth. i toss on a simple outfit, checking myself out in the body mirror.