A Reality better than the Dream

6.- Between the past and the present

Had she ever loved anybody, even an unworthy man? Was her heart made of iron? No, she had once... oh, no... no... he could not yet accept that she was really interested in him back then, she was only a very young and naive girl! But... he had noticed these feelings from the beginning. Could he have made a mistake? But, if this was true, then he would have even greater difficulties to approach her, because her wound of his behavior would be much deeper... She would not accept him, remembering him as an arrogant brute towards the women. He needed time to reverse this false image.

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Amary had learned about the whole event before and during the battle from Sheng, but she didn't make any comment about the emperor's behavior, she only commented about Iris's persistence to be present during the battle and put herself in danger.

Then, an invitation arrived from the emperor's kingdom for the victory-festivity.

In the palace, Iris and Lady Amary are discussing.

Amary: Iris... I know you have got over that old incident between you and the emperor. I also know that you almost never travel, but I hope that the reason you don't want to be present in his kingdom during the victory-festivities is not any inconvenience of yours towards him.

Iris raised her stare and seemed to be a little confused.

Iris: Grandmother, I trust you and I cannot hide anything from you. I am not sure that I am completely free from those humiliating memories. I really dislike traveling and much more I dislike leaving home and you, but I am not sure that nothing else has mingled with my heart, like a bitterness or a fear. However, my feelings for him have long before disappeared... but the memories of the insult... Ooh, I would like to read clearly my self and to be absolutely free, but I don't know...

Amary smiled, because her child was an excellent woman, sensitive and clear in her mind. The Emperor had lost a rare woman, when he had made that horrible mistake. But perhaps now... perhaps, he was interested in her. However, she would never reveal her suspicions to Iris. She didn't want to frighten her or make her old love awaken without any hope. Iris was innocent in heart and had tried too hard to get over her dark childhood and painful first love. If he was interested in her, he was the one to pull down the barrier she had constructed between her past and present, between him and herself.

Iris: Grandmother, I owe you my life and my happiness. You are a very... an excellent woman, that's why Grandfather loved you and was so loyal to you. I wish I could bring him back for you... but this is only a wish... I have not the ability... unfortunately... (she sighed with tears in her eyes).

Amary was moved hearing her monologue. But this was also something comforting her loneliness of her husband's loss. For both of them Iris had been their real child and their console. And fortunately, she had stronger will than their unhappy daughter, who had not the strength to leave behind her bad husband, to save her heart and herself.

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Finally, Iris decided not to visit the emperor's palace again for the festivities. She wanted to stay with her grandmother and find peace after all this mess. General Sheng tries to change her mind, but she is determined.

Iris: Sheng, you are the best man and my best friend, so it is a great honor for them to have you for a while with them!

Sheng: Iris, alright, I am "the best man and friend" (he rolled his eyes up). But they don't know it. The emperor will take it as an insult.