Flashbacks
Spending time with seishu time so flies, I didn't know a year have passed. Toman disbandment made me sad, he said don't worry but i know deep inside of him he's not okay.
He may be strong mentally and physically but in his heart it's where he always hide his problems. He also noticed mikey started hitting on you. You were very loyal to seishu. You known him for your whole life so you can't just betray him.
I also started noticing mikey is becoming addicted to something. I just knew that sanzu always stay beside him and draken is not. You dont want to know the issue because when you tried to ask seishu he got mad but before sleeping you made up.
It was a raining night.You two fought again for something little it was u trying to invade his problems and now ur walking down the streets having no umbrella but letting the rain soaked you.
He is still the same to me, but he has this side that i never knew would exist...
I kneeled down and hugged my knees. I should apologize later before it turn into a big mess.
I knew this is just a test for the both of us..
It hurts like hell...
I saw a two pairs of heels infront of me. And there's a big shadow of umbrella shedding me.
"Did he make you cry?"
I nodded
"C'mon i will take you home"
I stand up,holding the end of my shirt while shaking.
"Are you...okay?
And that's when I stopped feeling strong. All my tears suddenly burst.. i hug him in my arms.
"Hora hora go inside, Seishu must be waiting for you"
"Thank..you..inui.."
I didn't take a look at him i just stared at the door and go inside. He just finish showering. His hair is so wet that it is dripping. He didn't look at me but knows my presence.
I walked slowly behind himd and embrace him in my arms
"I'm....sorry... i'm really sorry..." as i sob
He just hummed and take off my hand in his waist. "Let's sleep.." he said
You know this feeling when u don't know what he's thinking?? Overthinking eats me i feel like he doesn't love me anymore.. i took a shower quickly and go to bed. He's facing the other way and for the first time he didn't greet me a sweet good..night
I know he's still mad but i tried to hug him and let him know that i truly love him.
The cold sheets around me..
"Cold...it's cold..." i sleepily said
I opened my eyes and saw that he isn't here.. He's still mad.. he didn't even greet me good morning..I'm his lover,he should open to me.. but the more i invade him.. the more he become distant..
The emptiness in my heart is slowly eating me.. i cook my breakfast wondering where did he eat breakfast...
Days passed and it was repeated not until a rainy night he didn't come home anymore.. He would sleep here but quickly leave in the dawn.. I tried to wake up before him and stalk him outside but i always lose the sight of him..
Loneliness is the first one i felt.. i started to become weak day by day.. Now im here at the dining table didn't realize i sleep here,i was supposed to talk to him if he comes home..
My neck is so stiff.. I opened my eyes and saw a meal in front of me.. This is making me cry
A note is on beside it saying " i cooked for you.. don't wait for me.. i love you.."
I drink the hot choco
"It's cold...it's no hot anymore.. he must left at dawn.."
If ur wondering about our money. Money is not a problem because i work at home it was trading stocks. I only work at lunch till evening but i always cook for the both of us. While he's busy running errands i always make sure our home is clean.
While taking out the trash i saw a familiar figure.. it's sanzu..
"Uhh ano..sanzu-san... do u know where's seishu..?"
"Hahahaha oh him? He's busy finding new gang"
"Uhh new gang..?"
"Yeah he will join a new gang, ja see u! I'll tell him i saw u"
"Wai—wait"
Then he left after he ride a car..
The clock.. it's 2:30 am.. im still waiting for him.. i heard his bike I immediately stand up.
"Seishu..."
There he was a different seishu... his hair become black and become..shorter. I saw a his eyes looks tired...
"..inui?"
"I-i didn't know you changed ur hair....u also look tired.."
"Mm"
My heart is clueless..
"Seishu..talk to me.. im ur lover afterall.."
I shouldn't invade his problems.. he might get mad.. im afraid we will fought again..
He slowly comes to me and i can see his eyes are reds like high.. he also smells like cigarettes..i dont want to get mad but
".. did you smoke..?.. why are ur eyes so red.. wait don't tell me.. ur using drugs?!"
He come up to me and started kissing me. I pushed him i lost my temper
"Yah! You promised to me ur not gonna smoke and use drugs!"
There i saw his angry eyes again
"Can you shut up?! Aren't you happy i got home early?! Sanzu even told me so!"
"Wow wow!, YOU CALL THIS EARLY?! FOR GODS SAKE! ITS 2:30 am!!! SEISHU U HAVENT COME HOME FOR A FEW DAYS?! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?? JOINING A NEW GANG?!?!" I shouted losing my mind
"Fuck! Where did u even get that! Yeah im using drugs and smoking cigarettes! Tell me !!!do you even love me at this moment!"
" don't mention that! I've always love you! I thought you promised not to use drugs and cigarettes because it's bad for our..baby! I thought we're okay! I always say sorry since that accident happened! Then why are you avoiding me!! Are you tired of me? Are you tired of my face? Then back at you! Do you even love me at this moment?!" As always when i got angry crying is the first thing i do.
"Y/n can you fucking stop?! The neighborhood might hear us! Stop already this is just a bullshit!"
"Why dont you answer me?? Do you love me?"
And i started hitting his chest
"Why you dont spend ur night here? Are you eating on time?! I always wonder if ur okay"
"Yeah keep hitting me like that if that makes you happy!" As he hold my hand to punch it to his chest.
I looked up at him crying "don't join a new gang."
"What? What did u said? Fuck off! Im trying to fix the both of us but ur making it worse!" He screamed at me making me flinched.
"Seishu! Can u get a hold of urself?! Oh right u were high right know! For that fucking drugs!"
And i felt a warm hand being slapped at me..
"Seishu u never hit me.. u said u wont make me cry.."
And that is when he realized what he have done. "Leave.."
I was shocked.. i never knew i would hear this.. i never knew these would happen... the pain im feeling right know is making me numb
"FUCKING LEAVE!!!!"
I hugged him tightly but he pushed me
"LEAVE!!!"
I directly look at the door.. why my feet wont move.. run y/n.. I can't move it.. then i run and run and run until im in the middle of darkness.. The pain im feeling i can finally scream it out.. i scream and scream till i run out of breath.. i layed in the ground.. i love rains because it feels like its always there for me.. i lifted my hands trying to catch the stars..
"Y/n..." and that when he comes in the spotlight between us.
"Mikey..."
