Far away.

V

The heart is a strong muscle, but for some people it turns into glass.

For a moment I stood there as if frozen. Somehow this whole situation was a bit paradoxical, on the one hand Harry had closed himself off from love, but on the other hand he flirted with me! And in this way, which makes the knees buttery soft and tingles in the stomach worse than a whole bottle of champagne could. wow. Just wow.

"Harry, if you don't want me to kiss you again, then you should stop flirting with me now and bring a few steps of distance between us," I just said. At least I hoped that I had said that, somehow I couldn't quite rely on my brain and its ability to function.

"Then just do it," Harry said so close to my face that I felt his breath on my skin, which still smelled of curry, "I don't want to do my life to you, but I want to be with you. I want to fall in love with you. I... I just don't know what you're doing with me, that I changed my mind within an afternoon, but I want you all to myself. A life without you... I don't want that! I want to be with you! Although it scares me damn much."

"Okay, my brain just got going...", I wanted to say, but was interrupted by Harry kissing me.

So tender that I shot up a hundred thousand kilometers and floated as if on clouds.

wow.

I got my first kiss from Hanna Lohman from my parallel class, when I knew slowly that I would become blind and she felt sorry for me. And that kiss was nothing compared to that kiss Harry Styles gave me.

And that meant so much to me because it was such a huge step for Harry.

I just wanted to give him everything I could give him.

"Wuff!" did it in front of the door and we were startled apart, "Wuff wuff!"

And we just laughed.

This laughter was so incredibly liberating!

"I should let my dog back in, or at least bring him over to the twins. Clifford doesn't like to hang out alone, especially not in the hallway." "Okay, but hurry up." "Okay."

I really giggled like a little schoolgirl and almost stumbled over the edge of my carpet before I could reach my room door and reach for the doorknob to jump out again to my dog, who was already jumping at me and pulling on my T-shirt. "Hey Cliff," I told him what had just happened, "I was just kissed by an angel. And in the hope that it will happen again, I push you off to Phoebe and Daisy." I knew full well that he had long been on his way to the two of them as soon as he jumped back to the ground. His barking from the direction of the twin room confirmed this assumption to me.

"Did I hear that right? You want another kiss?" Harry asked me, and I heard his grin before I really stumbled over the edge of the carpet and landed on the floor. "Firstly, yes, secondly, oops," I said from the floor, face in the carpet. "Then I have to come down to you to ask you another question. And I want to ask you if you want to endure me. Whether you want to be with me, even though I have some appointments 360 days a year, stuck in the recording studio or on tour." "Sounds like we have a pretty tight schedule to consider." "That sounds good." "Now finally kiss me Styles," I giggled and groped through the air until I had soft and fluffy hair in my hands , who then probably had to be Harrys. "Hey, you have curls." "Yes, they used to be shoulder-length. Then I had them cut off to donate." "With every word you just get more and more perfect." And this kiss also took me beyond all clouds.

I wanted it to never end, but I also knew I couldn't ask for too much.

Everything would run at its own pace.

I didn't care how long whatever would take. All I wanted was to make Harry Styles happy. At any price. This boy, who kissed me incredibly tenderly on my carpet, had long owned my heart and soul. It was absolutely crazy. Crazy and maybe even stupid. But I was sure of everything I had said and what I set out to do.

"Do you want to forget this one too?" I asked jokingly and laughed when Harry was silent for a rather long moment and was probably a little frightened.

"You idiot," he finally joined in my laughter and stroked a strand of hair from my forehead. "Hey eh, maybe I should confess something to you first. So I don't know if..."

"No matter what it's about, you can tell me anything."

"What I told your Mum earlier about drugs, that once and never again was a lie. I had an addiction problem with cocaine for a while and was therefore in therapy for a year before I gave it up because my therapist was an incomprehensible snipe. It's not as bad as it was two years ago, but I can't go to a party without coking before. I just wanted you to know that and not have to ask yourself at some point if the press is writing the truth or not. Mostly not."

"Okay, what else do I need to know?" I asked my boyfriend to digest what I just heard.

Harry was the same age as Ian, which meant...

He had already been a drug addict at the age of 18!

Such a fucking shit!

"I am no longer a virgin."

"Harry, you're a seemingly pretty famous pop star, I could have imagined that too, with all the love! And even without seeing you in the literal sense, I know you have to be damn hot. I see your innermost being and for that I thank you. At this point, I can probably confess to you that I almost died of an overdose about two years ago. I was at a party with Ian and weed and coke were distributed, like the alcohol. Not even my Mum knows about it and she knows everything else about me."

"Thank you for telling me this," Harry murmured in a broken voice, and I hoped I wouldn't hurt him when I pulled him to my chest. "Don't cry Sun. It's all good, I'm still there. And for a seemingly beautiful reason. I don't think it was a coincidence that we finally got to know each other right now."

"Yes, somehow fate seems to have been. At least that's how it feels because I fell in love with you within a moment. At first glance."

"I feel the same way."

We just lay cuddled up to each other on my carpet for a while before we went to bed and Harry pulled me as close as possible to his chest under my duvet, like a teddy bear.

It meant so much to me that he had opened up to me that evening.

And it was also kind of a relief for me to finally talk about the incident of Ian's birthday party back then. I really had never talked to anyone about it. At the party anyway, everyone was too drunk and too high to even notice the ambulance I had called myself before I lost consciousness in the driveway.

At that time I had thought to myself that my body was on the ass anyway and it didn't matter if I would throw something in properly.

Result: I almost needed a new liver.

I lay awake for hours and thought about this depressive phase in my life, while Harry quietly talked some senseless stuff in his sleep and his calm heartbeat calmed my own. Mentally, I once decided to protect this person at all costs from everything and everyone who wanted to harm my sun. Harry was my sun. The sun of my life.

And that scared me a bit.

I would never have thought that you could feel so strongly for another person, whom you basically hardly know or not at all!

What was his favorite food?

Did he prefer romantic movies or action movies?

How did he feel about football?

Did he eat Nutella with or without butter?

And many more such questions that kept me awake until the quiet bubum of his heartbeat slowly sent me like a lullaby into the realm of dreams...

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Sorry, just a short one today😅

But I try to make the next one longer again:)

Unfortunately can't promise anything, just have a little writer's block here...