in bloom [rodrick heffley]

chapter 4: who your friends are

It was finally here. September 1st, the day I would officially become a high schooler, and I was petrified. It didn't help that Aunt Jill seemed to be just as worried as I was, just worse at hiding it.

"Are you sure you have everything? Your key, your money, your phone?" she asked, fixing my hair as we were walking out the door.

"Yes, Aunt Jill. Everything's here."

I looked down at my new cell phone for the thousandth time since I got it the day before. It was shiny and black with the word Blackberry at the top. I was completely entranced by this device. I could type a message to Jill and she would get it in an instant. I could go on the internet, where I was learning lots of crazy and fascinating things.

Like an article I read about the Jonestown Massacre. A minister named Jim Jones started an organization called The People's Temple of the Disciples of Christ, where he tried to mix government ideologies with the Word of God. When the United States government got suspicious of his doings and began snooping around, he convinced and/or forced 908 people, including children, to drink poisoned Flavor-Aid before he shot himself. The story has haunted me ever since I read it.

I wasn't sure where his logic lied because I know God wasn't happy with him perverting His word and harming so many. Maybe there was no logic behind it. Maybe people are just insane.

The longer we drove, the more I began to feel uncomfortable in my outfit. I, of course, wanted to wear the beautiful suit, but all I could think about was the insult the boy at the mall hurled at me.

"Look at this goofy chick. She's in church clothes!"

There was no way I was going to wear the favored items at the mall, and my skirt was already shorter than I was used to, so what did these people want from me? Was I just overthinking it?

I tried to calm myself down by convincing myself that the school had too many people for me to be noticed. And even if they did, so what? Sticks and stones, right?

"Alright, we're here," Jill said, pulling in front of a huge building. I never imagined it would be this grand. I didn't get out immediately as I was trying to remember everything I've learned about high school from the internet. Some people said it was the best years of their lives, other people said it was the worst, everyone said they would have done things differently. So it was hard to get a clear picture.

I thought of Jill to ease my mind. She'd done so much for me since she drove all the way to West Virginia to claim me. I'd never known such tender-hearted care. Even if high school wasn't good to me, everything would be okay as long as I had her.

"I love you, Aunt Jill."

There was a breif silence, as I seemed to have caught her by surprise. Her eyes studied my face as she looked like she might cry.

"I love you, too, Josephine. I always have, even though we've only just met," she said, placing her hand on mine. "I know we haven't talked about it. About your mom. But whenever you're ready, if you're ever ready, I'm here."

I simply nodded, not wanting to think about my mother too much. My intention wasn't to upset Jill or stir up thoughts of her. I'd be happy if I never talked about her again.

The sight of the school and all the people walking around was even more intimidating without the protection of Jill's car, but I pushed aside my hesitation and began walking to the doors. My Mary Jane's clunked against the concrete, and I saw a few people staring at me, wondering who I was, I suppose. I tried to smile at them, and a few smiled back, making me feel a little bit more comfortable. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.