From Afar

"Ah, That Song That Reminds You of Him, Huh?"

Has anybody here even listened to one song playing on a radio, or maybe in your favorite restaurant, wherever that is, that struck you and thought about one person whom you can direct the lyrics to? If yes, pancakes with drizzling honey, same, bro. Same. 

Charlotte and I are currently bonding in a grocery store. I would love to say the name, but it seems I wasn't paid for that thing yet. She invited me to come with her and since I wasn't doing anything, I decided...why not? 

The song we're hearing was sung by none other than our popular girl, who write songs about her break-ups and shame on her exes. Yes, our one and only T Swift.  But it sounds like she wasn't broken here. She was singing about how she wishes the guy doesn't have anybody waiting on him. Except her. 

Except me. I was singing to him, unconsciously. 

"Hey! We heard that song before. I think during...ugh...Talent...Talent Show day?" 

"Hays, it's Talent Olympics day," I said. 

"Yeah, yeah! The guy brought his guitar and sung it to his mystery person. His intro was like, 'I'd like to dedicate this to the girl of my dreams. You know who you are.' Poor creature later found his miserable ending. He was rejected backstage. Poor man. If he sung this to me, I won't just be his girlfriend, I'd be his fiancee, a step closer to a wife. And maybe I'd propose to him. You know, breaking the culture or something?" My crazy friend's fantasies were getting into her. I believe, she sometimes takes it too far.

"Ohh-kay" was the only thing I got to say. As the song was coming to an end, I faced the junk food section. Seeing there was the last pack of Featos, the song exactly sang my thought as if the snack were alive. 

Please don't be in love with someone e-else. Please don't have somebody waiting on you~

My body moved, controlled by an impulsive feeling to snatch the precious rip-off of a popular food brand. I was on a race with the invisible. In the back of my mind, I knew that anytime, someone may snatch it, open it up, and enjoy it for himself. I couldn't bear that thought.  It was the most painful thing--to have it within your reach and get beaten to attaining it. 

I ran the fastest I could, but someone still whooped my ass to it. I did my best--and I was supposed to be glad of that, yet I was grieving for the fact it could've been mine. I was met with overwhelming defeat.

Just like I said, it was painful. But the song was still playing the part. The flipping part. The "PDBILWSE.PDHSWOY." My mind changed into an overdramatic, heartbroken little girl, whose heart's been crushed by the man she knew could never love her and thought about how what happened just a while ago can be comparable to my hopeless state with the mystery guy.

I don't want anybody to take him away from me now. But he's displayed for everybody to take. He isn't mine. In fact, he isn't anyone's. He would and could fall for anyone who pulls him close enough. He'd fall for anyone who made the effort to grab his heart. 

I agree, Taylor, I won't be able to bear to see him with someone else. I wanna plead to him the same words you're saying. I want to tell him I want no one waiting for his heart, but who am I, anyway? I don't even know his name yet. Goodness, the audacity.

Charlotte called me up form behind and said, "What's with the sad...vibe here? What's with the shoulder?" She looked at the place I last saw the Featos. She knew it was my favorite. She knew, for me, it was the best. Yet she never knew why Featos broke me more than I could ever imagine.

"Oh, I see. The last of Featos, eh? That can't be the last thing. I see people misplace things they put back after deciding they won't buy them anymore. Just look for a misplaced one, Featos baby." She consoled me, but even that created another heart-crushing thought. 

Anytime, anyhow, anywhere, the girl who picked him up can lose him. Maybe even regret him and just throw him away. 

She searched everywhere, even looking behind other foods. I guess she's lost her sanity. The food definitely caused it or I caused it...or maybe, the person who snatched it faster than I did caused me to leak that to her. I watched her do crazy stuff but later regretted I did not support her crazy operation.

"Wow, I found another one! I found one! It's hidden behind Dowittos! Ah-hah! I see, so I'm not the only one hiding stuff to reserve it!" Charlotte stood near me and shook my gorgeous body,  holding before me the food I raced for a while ago. 

Now, what metaphor or figure of speech can I use?
 
I looked at Charlotte as if she's the best girl ever to live, when I know she's not, but that's not the point. My eyes expressed to her the words that're near absurd--absurd in her case--if said vocally:  "You're finally useful! I never knew this day will come!" 

 But if it meant a different pack of Featos, does that mean I'm destined to find a different guy? 

I took the Featos from her hand and tossed it to the cart.  

With slumped shoulders and a fake grin, the words I've been holding back spilled: "Since I don't have any money today with me, my friend, I love you. Please pay for that, too."