Sommer DeAngelis has lived in San Dimas her whole life. So when her teacher asks her to help her two class mates, Bill and Ted, will she get strapped in for a ride she wasn't prepared for?
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Bill, Ted, and Sommer were inside the phonebooth when it landed in a rural area. "How's it going, Old West Dude?" Bill and Ted question as they wave at a man who just walked out of the bathroom next to their phonebooth. "Hey, Bill, Sommer, this is just like Frontierland." Ted says as they look around, walking down the dirt path. "Yeah, but you can get shot here, Ted." Sommer reminds causing him to look around. "Oh." Ted says. "Just try to act natural." Bill says.
"Okay." Ted says as they look around. "Howdy, partner." Bill says. "Howdy." Ted says. "Watch out for the horse crap, Ted." Sommer says as she notices Ted about to step in it. "Ugh. Thanks, babe." Ted says causing Sommer to look down, a smile on her face. "Hey, Bill, Sommer I'm totally thirsty." Ted says. "Me too." Bill says as they walk into a bar, Sommer following behind. "Want anything Sommer?" Ted questions causing her to shake her head, a smile on her face. "Two beers, please." Bill says. "Whoa! He didn't even card us, dude!" Ted says a wide grin on his face.
"Yeah, we have to remember this place." Bill says as they lean against the counter. "So, who should we take with us?" Bill questions as the trio looks around at the people. A man walks into the bar, shooting his gun into the air, putting it back into his sheathe. "Who's he?" Ted questions. "He's Billy the Kid. He's famous, dude." Sommer says as she looks at both boys. "Let's bag him." Bill says. "I need two men. Who's with me?" Billy questions. "We're with you, Billy the Kid." Ted says after a long silence. "Here's the deal. What I win, I keep. What you win, I keep." Billy says and of course the oblivious boys nodded, goofy grins on their faces.
"Sounds good, Mr. The Kid." Ted and Bill say. Now they were sat around a table, Sommer sat in a chair behind them. She noticed how in every card Ted got, he grinned widely. "Dude, you gotta have a poker face, like me." Bill says just as he looks over his cards. "Whoa! Three aces!" Bill cheers causing Sommer to facepalm, and for Ted to grin widely. "What the hell's going on here, Billy? Are you cheating us, Kid?" A man questions. "Cheatin'? Me?" Billy questions as he shouts, standing up. A rumble erupted inside the bar. "Oh great." She says. She turns as a man attempts to hit her, punching his gut.
"You don't hit women!" She says as he falls over. "Sommer!" Ted shouts causing her to rush over. "Come on!" Ted says as he grabs her hand, bringing her along towards the booth. "You guys saved my life." Billy says. "Nothing doing, Billy the Kid." Bill and Ted say. "Where we going?" Billy questions. "The Golden Age of Civilization." Sommer says as she starts dialing the number. "Where?" Billy questions. "Ancient Greece, dude." Ted says as he looks over her shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll bring you back as soon as you talk in our report." Bill says as Sommer puts the phone down. "What?!" Billy questions as they start traveling.
"What you did back there was most bodacious." Ted says to the girl causing her to grin. "Thanks Ted." She says as she stares out the glass door. "Where are we headed?" Ted questions causing her to grin. "Greece, we're gonna meet a philosopher." She says, Ted just nodded, his smile on his face. Once they landed Sommer held her head. "Ouch." She says. They walked towards the large white building.
"Socrates." Bill, Ted, and Sommer hear. "Hey, we know that name." Bill says. "Yeah! Hey, look him up." Ted says, but Bill looks up at him cluelessly. "Oh. It's under So-crates." Ted says before Sommer could help them. "Oh, yeah. "So-crates: 'The only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing."" Bill reads out of the book. "That's us, dude!" Ted says cheerfully. "Oh, yeah! Let's bag him." Bill says as they all rush over to where Socrates was. "Yeah. How's it going? I'm Bill, this is Ted, and this is Sommer. We're from the future." Bill says causing Socrates to stare at the trio in curiosity.
"Socrates. Hm..." Socrates says. "Now what?" Ted questions. "I don't know. Philosophize with him." Bill says causing Ted to look down, looking back up. "All we are is dust in the wind, dude. Dust. Wind. Dude." Ted says, first holding some of the dust, blowing it, then pointing at Socrates. "Ha!" Socrates says in shock. "Let's get out of here, dudes." Sommer says to both guys. They rush out to where the phonebooth was. "Where to?" Bill questions causing Sommer to dial a number, putting the phone back.
"Περιμένω." (Hold on.) She says to Socrates to does as she says. "Whoa." Ted says. They flew through time. "Whoa!" Ted and Sommer shouted as they landed. "All right!" Bill shouts. "Yee-ha! Not bad, eh, So-crates?" Billy questions Socrates. "Where are we, dude?" Bill questions the girl who walked out of the booth, a wide grin on her face. "England, 15th century." She says, a grin on her face. "We are in most excellent shape for our report." Ted says cheerfully. "Yeah, all we need is one more speaker from medieval." Bill says. "Excellent." Sommer says. "Billy, you are dealing with the oddity of time travel with the greatest of ease." Bill says looking back at Billy and Socrates. "Excuse me. Do you know where there are any personages of historical significance around here?" Ted questions a man walking by them.
The man pointed up at the castle. "Whoa! Check it out." Bill says. "It must be the castle of King Henry." Sommer says in shock. "Let's go, dudes! Billy, guard the booth. And watch So-crates." Ted says. They all start walking down the dirt path. "So, who should we get from medieval?" Sommer questions both guys. "How about that gnarly old goat dude?" Ted questions the girl as Bill stops. "Ted?" Bill questions causing Ted and Sommer to turn to him. "I'm in love, dude." Bill says causing everyone to turn to where Bill was looking. "Whoa!" The trio says. "That's Princess Joanna." Sommer says causing Bill to practically melt. "Joanna." He says causing Sommer to chuckle.
"We gotta go, it's a history report, not a babe report." Ted says. "But Ted...that's a historical babe." Bill says. "Okay, you're the ladies man, how we gonna meet 'em?" Ted questions, but everyone turns to Sommer. "We can sneak in." She says. "Excellent." Both Bill and Ted say. They walk into the castle, Bill and Ted wearing armor. "Bill?" Ted questions. "What?" Bill questions. "These are heavy." Ted says. "Yeah, heavy metal." Bill says causing the two to do their air riff. "We gotta go find the princess." Bill states. "Yeah." Sommer says as she looks around the castle.
"Who turned out all the lights?" Ted questioned as he turned to where he thought Bill was. "Hey, Bill?" Ted questions as he flips the top open. "What?" Bill questions looking at his friend. "I'm Darth Ted." Ted says causing Sommer to chuckle as she watches them. "Yeah, well I'm Luke Bill. And you're not my father." Bill says as the two start to sword fight. After a few words exchanged between the two friends, Ted spoke up. "Hey, Bill." Ted says. "What?" Bill questions. "We totally know how to sword fight." Ted says. "Yeah!" Bill cheers as they continue, but Ted stumbles and falls down the stairs. "Ted." Sommer says as she rushes over, going down the stairs with Bill.
