A certain person who had had a window closed on him by Heaven was currently very frustrated indeed.
He was so frustrated he didn't sleep well all night. Even doing mock exam papers didn't help.
He Zhao discovered that the strange, something-is-out-of-place feeling had gradually built up, little by little. By the time he became aware of it, it was completely out of control.
Countless times he had been shaken, and each time, he wasn't sure what to do.
He wasn't sure where to put his hands, he didn't dare look directly at that person, yet a voice in his heart continued to shout.
He, likes, Xie Yu.
Not that sort of like. That sort of like.
Whenever he saw him, his heart filled up. Afraid to win, yet afraid to lose. Not grounded at all, with the lingering feeling that somewhere within him still remained empty. That sort of like.
But.
He Zhao had remained single for more than ten years. Faced with this age-old dilemma, his thoughts rushed about in all directions like a wild beast but still could not find their way.
Eventually the beast stopped, having exhausted all its energy. He Zhao sat on the ground and thought, would his little friend... dislike it?
As someone who was discussed in a CP thread on the school forums, He Zhao was, in a broad sense, aware of the matters of being gay and being straight.
What if Xie Yu was as straight as an arrow?
He was at an age where it was easy to be reckless, but he didn't dare to just do as he pleased.
Eventually, He Zhao tossed his pen down. He wasn't sure what to do, either, so he opened Xie Yu's social media profile and scrolled down, post by post.
Xie Yu's social media profile was like a boundary line, cordoning off the Xie Yu he knew. He Zhao now saw Xie Yu's life from before, his friend circle... and the gentleness that he ordinarily never showed.
Xie Yu's everyday posts were very simple, generally a short phrase. When he was angry he would post, 'Go fucking scram,' and when he was happy he would post pictures of nature or his surroundings. One common subject of the photographs was a very fat orange cat, with the caption Eat yourself to death.
The orange cat sometimes sunned itself belly-up at the entrance to the convenience store, napping with its eyes narrowed.
The convenience store looked run-down and children's toys were arranged on its stock shelves. A whole wall of cheap toys.
There was a signpost in the upper left corner of the photo, the words 'Black Water Street' faintly visible.
He Zhao paused. This location sounded familiar.
But the posts about Black Water Street had grown fewer in number over the last few years, and He Zhao thought to himself, Did he move?
As he continued scrolling, he reached a close-up photo of the orange cat. It was very close to the camera, its nose almost pressed to the glass, and Xie Yu's hand was placed on the orange cat's head——just looking at the hand, one could not imagine that the person rubbing the cat's head could be vicious at all.
Xie Yu was sitting on the side of the road, and the cat was clearly very comfortable being petted, its eyes narrowed with satisfaction.
He Zhao stared at the photo for a long time before quietly saving it.
The Xie Yu in these photos was different from the Xie Yu in school, but he was still the little friend He Zhao knew.
With such a thick layer of armor, everyone thought he was impenetrable.
