oneshots ⋆ mcyt

why not me?

Tags: angst, they/them pronouns, 500 words, inspired by a song, sad ending, relationships

Summary: Wilbur thinks he loves you, but he can't help but imagine you're someone else instead.

Inspired by the song: Washing Machine Heart - Mitski

Wilbur has fallen in love many times throughout his life. There are times where he fell so hard in love he couldn't imagine being without them.

He told you this before, at the beginning of your guys' relationship. It was the weekend, just a normal date at a bakery downtown when he admitted this, which turned into a whole story about each and everyone he ever loved.

Some stories were embarrassing, some were funny, and some were just downright mean. But despite it all, you were fully intrigued by his past relationships. Everything was going great until he told you about the one he dated before you.

You had seen something glimmer in his eyes; something you haven't seen before.

True love. Infatuation. Desire. The things you've never felt from him. Your heart wrenched as he subconsciously smiled at the thought of them.

Of course, you guys had only started dating for a bit. Surely his feelings for you would develop and get stronger, right?

Right?

Countless times of looking over at him to see him in his phone gallery, looking fondly of captured memories with them made you feel sick in the stomach. Going on well-planned out dates you organized for the two of you, and just for it to be wasted as he scrolls through their Instagram, not paying attention to a word you say.

But finally, when he was sick with the flu and you came over to take care of him, he whined their name in his slumber. You didn't catch his flu, but you did feel sick for the rest of the month.

It's been a year. You two have been together for a year. Has he really been imagining you are someone else for a year? And most importantly: Have you really been wasting that much time already?

But what hurt the most, is when he writes a love song about a certain someone. He had told you that you had inspired him to write this for you. You smile and pray that it really is for you.

It isn't.

Reading the pages of messy handwritten lyrics, you quickly realize that the "soft hair he loved to rub his face into" isn't yours. He had gotten your hair color wrong. You realize that "seeing the galaxy and many futures to come in your eyes" wasn't you either. He had gotten your eye color wrong too.

They were his last lover's features. Not you.

You don't have the heart to tell him when you look up from the sheet of paper to see him grinning in anticipation at your reaction. Should you feel honored? You're not sure. But you say you love it anyway, hoping in exchange for his real love. It never comes.

Only when he pretends that it's not you.

Wilbur has fallen in love many times throughout his life. You are not one of them.