Forsakened: Crisis Of Lust

Chapter 5: Chit-Chat

After spouting out the name, I expected Javier to immediately shut it down. However, I watched as an expression of fear and confusion took hold of his lovable face.

"Javier? Are you going to say something?" I asked, awaiting some sort of response.

"Oh shit...!" He exclaimed as he invited a silent pause into the conversation.
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"What does that mean, Javier?" I questioned his expression and unexpected reaction.

Javier tried to compose his thoughts, identifiable by his change in expression going from worried to unbothered. He took a deep breath. I sighed, shivers rolling down my spine.

"Phoebe… I, uh-" Javier tried to explain his odd choice of words. "What, Javier? Just let it out! I can handle the truth. Is he or is he not?" I belched. He gulped. I stood upwards from my seating to look him in the eyes and to calm my nerves by walking around the room.

"Colton Miller is not only an orphan whose name is familiar, but he was also the guy you were head over heels for in that establishment." Javier let his words fly out like butter, smoothening the honest blow.

"Ok, yeah, I need to sit for this one." I said as I took the seat next to his bed again, flabbergasted by this news. "Colton… Miller… I think I remember him, though I've tried so hard to rid myself of the past. This is absolutely insane! I mean I remember the guy's name being something like Celvin or Carson…" I began ranting on and on, trying to find a loophole in my thoughts.

"Also, I didn't even get this guy's last name, so what if they are completely different people? Would that mean it's a coincidence that he was also an orphan like me? So many questions, so many vague answers…" My mind was going all over the place, thoughts becoming unsteady.

"Phoebe, stop overthinking this! We need to keep our heads. Was there anything else that would have driven you to this conclusion?" Javier helped me ease the thoughts in my head, though it was still very confusing. He asked me to retrace the steps at that moment.

"I mean, his hazel blue eyes were very telling and pretty. I don't know... As I looked into them it was as if I had connected with him before…" I recalled some of the moments that forth-telling night.

I started to think back to the feeling that was filling in for my closed thoughts, the feeling I got when staring into his eyes. Somehow, I felt secure at that moment. As if nothing else in the world mattered but his mesmerizing glance at me. I found myself drifting into the moment in itself, trying to maintain it as long as possible. Then, my breath would flutter and my heart would pump faster than it's normal rate. It felt like some sort of spark between us, but never one I'd felt in my life before…

"Phoebe, are you sure that's all of it?" Javier snapped me back into the conversation.

"Hold on, I'm thinking…" I started mouthing the list of things I had mentioned to Javier before. Trying to find something else that would signify this guy had the intention of me knowing who he was.

Flash #1: He smiled back at me "Well Phoebe, I would love to catch dinner with you sometime."

Flash #2: "S-Sure, I'd love that. I'm free Friday night. We can meet here and go somewhere." I chippered, encasing my excitement.

"It's a date." He winked as he closed the door behind him.

"He asked me on a date." I mumbled, stunned by the near-recent memory.

"He did WHAT?" Javier screeched. My eyes widened slowly as his words replayed in my head. "Yeah, he asked me out. Then, before he left the establishment, he winked at me." I brought light to that particular moment. "Winked?" Javier eyebrows perked up as he places his hand close to his chin to think.

Flash #3: Unexpectedly, he displayed a smirkish smile from ear to ear and winked at me. He then hopped out of place and ran out of my field of vision.

"I-It can't be..." I stuttered as my eyes shook inside their sockets.

"Phoebe? What if he already knows who you are and which orphanage you came from?" Javier's face became more serious as he hypothesized every detail that has come up about this strange interaction.

"Oh come on, bestie. That's impossible..." I tried to brush off his theory with laughter, even though I knew it was the strongest possibility. I sighed.

Silence had a known presence in this room by now, and it sure took over most of the actual discussion itself. Javier and I just started staring at our own selective areas in the room, not one word being uttered.

"You know, maybe you should get some rest." I murmured. I stepped off the chair and walked towards the bed. I sat on the bed once I was at a close distance to do so.

"Thank you so much for being strong and fighting. And thank you for assisting me through my insanity. I love you, Javier." I reiterated. I hugged him tight in my arms and kissed his forehead goodnight.

He didn't respond. It seemed as if he were at a loss for words. Though, I knew where his kind heart had been.

"See you in the morning." I whispered as I shut off all the heating lights in the room, and closed the creaking door behind me.

Narration: "We all lose friends. We lose them in death, to distance, and over time. But even though they may be lost, hope is not."

I guess in reality, I didn't want this guy I had met at a Davis's bar to be the person I bonded with years ago...

Because the truth was ... I hated Colton Miller.