The cheating - A.I

2. Adam Langley

Dear Ashton

I have to say, I’m a bit surprised that you actually decided on reading the next letter. But just so you know, it means a lot to me, not that I think you care but honestly it really does. 

You might recognize the name Adam Langley from back in the days when we were together. He was my high school boyfriend and the guy I lost my virginity to in 10th grade. I think I told you about him one day when we were just lying in bed, talking about our lives, pasts and dreams. The same day as you told me about your first love and heartbreak. I remember being devastated about what you told me and I mentally swore to never hurt you. But I did, and one of those times I hurt you was with Adam Langley. 

It was a birthday party for one of my old high school friends. I don’t even remember who it was. All I remember is what happened in that old guest room and how I felt when I left it.

 You and me were finally in a better place again after the big fight we had (and as you know now, the first time I cheated). Me locking myself in my flat for a week and you being drunk during the same week straight with Michael. And even if you being drunk for a week straight made me even more sad, at least I knew you didn't cheat on my since every night you came to my flat, knocked on my door, begging me to open.

But I never did, and all that time you thought I was mad at you, when in reality I was mad at myself for what I did to you. How weak I was as a person compared to you, my boyfriend who was standing outside my front door every night for a week, drunk off your ass, crying and begging me to forgive you. You wanted me to forgive YOU when it was ME I couldn't forgive.  

Somehow we got through that mess and I felt happy. Well as happy as you can while knowing that you cheated on your boyfriend. The guilt was eating me from the inside but I was happy. 

I arrived to the party, dressed in my regular skinny jeans and a a blouse that was open in the back. The big house that the party was held in was decorated with balloons and garlands, it looked pretty tacky if you ask me. It was crowded and the smell of alcohol and sweat struck against me and I felt like I wanted to turn in the doorway and leave. And I almost did, if Valery hadn’t spotted me and dragged me inside. She was one of my old class mates, we used to sit on the bench behind the chemistry building and smoke cigarettes she had stolen from her mom every lunch break.

She looked exactly the same, big brown hair and colourful eye shadows. She smelled of cigarettes and mint.

”I haven’t seen you in ages! how are you? Did you know Adam is here?” She talked extremely fast as she dragged me across the hall and into the living room.

Adam Langley, my high school boyfriend and first love. I hadn’t seen him since graduation when he told me he was moving to France with his parents. That was my first heartbreak. 

"So?" Was all I said. I shrugged at Valery with a small smile. I actually didn't care about Adam, I had you. I had my boyfriend waiting for me at home, playing Xbox with his friends Luke and Cal. 

”He even asked for you” Valery sounded almost impatient ”He looks so fucking hot!” 

I shrugged again and thought about you. The bright smile you had when you told me that lame yet very unaproroate joke that Luke had told you earlier before I left for the party. 

"Let's get som wine Val!" I smiled at her and dragged her over to the kitchen where we found a bottle of wine.

An hour and a half later I was wasted. Me and Val had been dancing and I had the time of my life, it was fun to meet everyone from high school again and I couldn't stop bragging about my boyfriend back home that made me the happiest girl in the world and whom I loved so much.