Letting go

Thoughts and questions

As Jake kept explaining, my heartbeat was racing even more.

-  We both agreed about being friends so I thought that would be ok if we grabbed coffee to catch up.

-  Yes, it's true and it is fine. I just wasn't expecting you to do that, normally I'm the one who makes the first move and speaks up. You have to understand why I'm so surprised.

-  I get it but I decided to be the first one to make the move this time and besides that I was the one who was wrong and made the wrong decision.

I didn't know what he meant with "wrong decision", could he be talking about ending things between us? I didn't know exactly if he was referring to our friendship ending in weird terms or ending what we had before but honestly, I was too nervous and too afraid to ask him about that and besides I didn't even think he was ready to talk about it, at least I wasn't sure if I was ready.

•••

We spent the afternoon catching up everything that happened to both of us in this last month, we didn't talk about us or our situation besides that first talk but with time passing by and as more as we talked, I started to feel our connection coming up such as the feelings that I had buried in my head. I could see by the look on his face that he was feeling just the same as me and that made me happy, we both missed each other when we were apart.

As usual, I lost track of time, when I noticed it was already time for dinner but even though I was late and my mom would probably complain about it, I still wanted to stay, I didn't wanna leave.

•••

-  Where were you, Elli? I called you and you didn't even answer. You know, when you have a phone, you're supposed to answer it not just use it for social media.

-  Hm I was at Stors, I'm sorry I've lost track of time.

-  Who was there with you?

-  Oh, you know, our group. It was nice, we haven't been all together for a while.

-  Fine, get ready for dinner quickly because your sister is hungry and complaining.

Lying to my mom was probably not the best option but I couldn't tell her I was at Stors with Jake. My mom is a very protective person when it comes to her daughters and we always told her everything but with Jake I just can't because I don't know where this is gonna go and if something goes wrong my mom would be devastated to see me get hurt once again. Its better for her if she doesn't know, just trying to protect her like she protects me.

I got ready quickly and went downstairs for dinner, as usual my sister was already mad because she was hungry but my mom didn't let her eat before I came home just because she has this thing where we all should eat together, to catch up and be together for a while.

-  I'm so hungry, you're always late Elliana!

-  Jesus, calm down Rylee. You can eat now, happy?

Rylee was 10 and we get along pretty well besides our fights sometimes. We were all really closed and attached to each other even when we got mad or had fights because my dad wasn't around much, he was always traveling in business so it was just me, Rylee and my mom, that's why we always had each other's backs.

-  Do you have any plans for tonight Elli?

-  I don't know mom, I don't know if they want to go out.

- If you go out, please don't be at home late, you know your sister always wants to wait for you before she sleeps.

I said yes with my head to my mom, finished dinner and went upstairs. I texted the girls to see if they wanted to go out, I haven't told them about my afternoon yet.