Letting go

Bringing back memories

It all started in a summer night, those hot nights just chilling with friends. Those nights when we used to gather all together, drink some beers and talk about random stuff. I remember that night, just like all of the other summer nights, they really were something special. And just how it all started in a summer night, it's how all it ended.

•••

July 15th 2021

Emma picked me up at 10am and we drove to the beach, vibing with summer songs and appreciating the view. When we got there, Everleigh, Isla and Kayla were already waiting for us but the boys weren't there yet.

- Where are the boys? They should be here by now.

- They'll be here any second, don't worry. We should get going if we want a place to put our towels, the beach is going to be crazy today.

The beach was beautiful and so peaceful, the water was clear as glass and warm, everything was going great but there's still no sign of them. I was getting kinda worried since things between me and Jake didn't go well but we could still be friends, at least I was trying and that's what we both agreed on. The more I thought about our situation my mind gotten even more out of place, just me and my own thoughts thinking about everything that happen in these last days, until Kayla showed up.

- Elliana, you need to take this day off. Relax, enjoy the beach and don't worry about them. They're gonna show up and if they don't, then it's not your fault.

- I know but I just want to be ok with him. We both agreed we could be friends after everything but I don't know where we are exactly.

- You know you both have a really strong bond with each other and that's never gonna go away if you both tried to. And maybe, you both need to heal first from how things ended and then try to be friends.

- I know all of that but I can't cut him off, it's not that easy.

- I know but maybe it's a nice option for now. I know you want to see him and be friends and I also know that you want all of that because deep down you're attached to the idea of getting back together with him and try it one last time but there's nothing left to try honey, you both tried so much for so long.

- Kayla...I know. Things between me and Jake are still fresh for me, it isn't easy to talk about him or seeing him or anything else it causes me pain to see him, it hurts like a damn hell but I can't give up on him. Not yet.

Kayla gave me that "you shouldn't do that to yourself" look and got into the water while I sat down in the sand. Deep down I knew Kayla had a point and probably the best I could do was cut him off for good and give up and maybe in a couple of months when things were better and not that fresh, we could have a friendship that could actually be "normal". I was trapped in my own thoughts, again. when the girls called my name to go back to the towels.

Hours kept passing by and they were still not there. At this point I already knew they weren't coming but I kept my mind off of that and focused on relaxing and enjoying time with the girls.

The sun was already heading down when we decided to go home.

- Elli, are you ok? You seemed pretty off the entire day.

- I'm fine Em. I already knew they weren't coming and it was probably for the best, we do need some time off, not seeing each other today was good for both of us. I think you guys are right and I do need to cut him off for a while to heal from everything and that's just what I'm gonna do for now.

Emma smiled at me like a proud mom when her first born takes his first steps. She knew the entire story and she knew how stubborn I was about this so she gets how hard it is for me to cut him off but I need to pause this for me, I need a break from this, from him.