Things I can't//Larry Stylinson

Chapter 2

***When you love someone and they let you go***

---

"He said all five of us. I can't do it." I am walking in circles in the living room. My hands are running through my wet hair, because I took a shower a minute ago. I can't properly breathe, I am frustrated. 

"Hey hey, calm down." Mitch came over as soon as I got Liam's message. He's my best friend, he's the one who has been here since our band went on hiatus. He spent every night with me when I was crying. He helped me go through every difficult situation in my life. I'll be forever grateful for having him in my life, he knows me better than anyone.

"How can I be calm? Fuck. I can't do this. I just can't," I shrug. I'm looking at the white wall in front of me and just standing. Memories are running through my mind and tears are starting to appear in my glossy eyes.

My legs stop working and my whole body falls on the couch. My head is buried in a huge amount of pillows and my arms are lying along my body without a sense of life. 

"Jesus, you're such a drama queen," Mitch sighs, but still stands up and walks over to my dead body. He sits beside me and his hands are stroking my back. 

"I think you should go," he says.

"What?" I sit down quickly. I'm in shock. My eyes are widely open, so is my mouth and I don't believe he said that.

"I mean. They used to be your best friends. You spent 5 awesome years together. Don't you wanna see them?"

I think for a while. For sure I wanna see them. I miss them so much. However I don't think I'm ready to see one particular person.

"I do. But L-Louis. I can't see him." I haven't said his name out loud for almost two years. It was harder than I thought. Even his name slipping out of my mouth brings so many memories and I feel my heart breaking again.

"I know it's hard for you to see him, because of what he did but don't you wanna know answers, like why did he do it or why he never answered your calls?" Shit, he's right again.

"Yeah, I guess so," I shrug.

"Maybe he won't even show up. It has to be even harder for him to face you. He did a terrible thing and now he'll see your face after 2 years of suffering."

"I don't want him to see me wrecked." 

"Then don't let him. Show him how good your life is right now. Show him how good you're doing without him. Show him that he didn't drag you down. You're stronger now and he has to see that. He has to see what he lost and regret his decision."

Maybe Mitch is right. Even though my life isn't great, Louis must think it is. He can't see what a loser I became. 

"Yeah, you're right."

"Great. So you're going! Let's pick you an outfit that will make you feel confident!" he claps and immediately stands up and makes his way into my bedroom. There's a special room which I'm using as a wardrobe. It's full of my favorite gucci suits. I fell in love with them and wherever I go out I always wear one of them.

"What about this one?" Mitch is holding one of my suits. It's plain and black. There's nothing interesting about this one.

"Nope, too basic."

"This one?" This suits is also plain but with a lovely blue color. Actually this reminds me of Louis. It's the same color as his eyes and I bought it right after he left me, because I missed seeing this color everyday.