Shut Up, I'm Ranting

"This is NOT What it Should Taste Like!"

You know what I like? Bagels. You know what I don't like? (A lot of things) (Shut up, you) WHEN MY CRANBERRY BAGEL TASTES FREAKIN' ONION-Y!

This is what I don't like about my mother: we get a lot of bagels (I like this part), my mom puts them into bags so the stay fresher (still on the pro side), but she puts the savory bagels next to the sweet bagels. This is the part where I eat a bagel, notice it has some unwanted flavors, and plot when I should smack my mom with a frying pan. And this isn't all, no, she has to put MUSHROOM POWDER into waffles. WAFFLES! Not only is she exhibiting her love for mixing sweet and savory to make possible horrors, she also gets to show her mushroom craze. Seriously, my mom is incredibly obsessed with mushrooms, and it's insane; She's basically Mario. Plus, her answer for everything is mushrooms.

"Hey, did you know that mushrooms can help cure cancer?"

"Did you know that mushrooms can suck up radiation?"

"Oh, you're failing school? Are you not eating mushrooms?"

"Hey mom, the US's economy is failing, what do you suggest?"

"MUSHROOMS!"

I need my mom to have less crazes.

To wrap up this rant, I'd like to inform you all on my bagel status: I just finished a raisin bagel, and for some reason it was SPICY! No excuse me while I go resurrect my tongue.