F-Bud Review and A Brief Look At Its History

Scientists invented the F-Bud via an experiment. The main subject of this experiment was a mycelium spawn (treated with a specialized mutagen that causes more tame yet widely different mutations in a single organism/their cells) that was placed in an enclosed environment (ground is composed of a mix of coarsely ground grain and pre-sterilized soil) alongside multiple pairs and brands of wireless bluetooth earbuds.

The result was a common mycorrhizal network but instead of interconnecting plants to one another and allowing them to transport things such as sugar to one another in a time of need but instead interconnected the earbuds. The mycelium’s appearance became more cable-like and would grow a tube-like growth (made from the bunching of fungal threads) that would attach to an earbud case then a few thinner fungal threads would grow inside this tube-like growth then penetrate the earbud case. The earbud cases themselves would have many components covered in fungal threads which eventually results in a self-sustain mycelium colony forming inside the case. Of course the earbuds themselves were also penetrated by the mycelium.

Separation of this case would not result in the death of this new colony but would cause stress to the organism. Introducing an electric current via a charging apparatus resulted in an extended lifespan for the mycelium colony inside the earbud case but the best results were providing an electric current and a small container of substrate. The internal components of the device may have been compromised by the mycelium, but if connected could play music and when human subjects were asked to compare the colonized earbuds to the original uncolonized variant, on average would prefer the colonized earbuds. The reasons for this ranged from a higher quality in audio performance, a more comfortable feel and the belief that the design was altered when in fact that was just thin wispy fungal threads on the outside of the case that came in various colors usually based on the color of the case itself (it’s theorized that the plastic feel of these threads that come from the colonized earbuds/earbuds cases further increased the confusion).

Now the primary market these colonized earbuds really sell well in are those who are deaf or enjoy more luxurious products as studies show. This might be because the product is quite expensive but well worth it for those willing to use it and buy it.

The biggest benefit/downside of the colonised electronic is that if used as intended as an earbud for extended periods of time the mycelium will try to extend from the earbud down the external auditory canal to the tympanic membrane at which point it will began assimilating to it. This process cannot be stopped nor can you remove the mycelium without resulting in serious damage to the eardrum and possibly other parts of the ear. Instead, it should be allowed if it occurs. If it does occur the person will result in temporary hearing loss, dizziness, hearing things that are not actually there, fever and various other symptoms.

Once the mycelium has fully colonized your ear, there will likely be a regain of hearing in a few days and your colonized ear shall actually be able to still connect to bluetooth while also be more immune to hearing loss. The remaining mass of colonized electronics, i.e. the earbud stuck in your ear, will eventually be digested and repurposed by the mycelium colony in your ear. Professionals recommend keeping the earbud case around for a month (placed in a substrate container and charged) then consume the container. This is because your body may still try to reject the mycelium even though it adapts fairly quickly and releases immunosuppressants in its general vicinity though they are not too strong but may cause increased chances of infection and/or fever. By consuming the container you allow your body to further adapt to the mycelium eventually resulting in a symbiotic relationship and the time spent waiting is because too early of an introduction may cause mycelium growths to occur in your stomach/lower chest region. Instead, the time gap allows the aural colony to eventually take control of the lower chest/stomach colony, resulting in fewer troubles.

Overall, the F-Bud is a wonderful commercial biotech for those who can properly use the product and afford its higher price when compared to more traditional earbuds.

Final Rating: 8.5/10