Rodrick Rules! - A Fanfiction

Chapter Nineteen: The Argument

Not gonna lie, I am SO relieved I was able to get away with what I did at Rodrick's party. But part of me still has a bad feeling about it.

Anya's the only one who knows I did it. I told her after school just now and to say she's shocked is an understatement. I just couldn't stand to keep it a secret for so long. It's been nearly two weeks since it happened, the guilt was just eating at me.

"Valorie, you have to tell him" her eyes look worried.
"Yeah that'd be a great idea if I wanted him to never speak to me again" I say. I haven't even been looking at her. I just keep nervously fidgeting with my hands.

"At this point, it seems like you do want that" she retorts.

What's that supposed to mean?

"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I mean, it's taken you so long to tell Rodrick you have feelings for him. You're not really good at confronting him, so maybe it'd be better to be honest and tell him about the door and just leave him alone for a while. Otherwise it kinda makes you look bad..." she says as she rubs her arm.

"Okay first of all, nobody saw me do it! And no way. He rejected me, remember?"
"No he didn't! It'd be a rejection if you asked him out but you didn't!" She says, flaming.

"Well, even if I left him alone I wouldn't want to since he's the only good friend I have right now!" I lash out. It all comes out too fast. Anya looks taken aback by what I say.

"What am I, then?" She looks really hurt now.

Shit, not again.

"I-I didn't mean it, I'm sorry" I say quickly but it's too late.

"Ugh, you know what Val? Ever since you started having feelings for this guy, I've been nothing but supportive and you've just been treating me worse. You used to be really cool but now you're just letting your insecurities come out by hurting your ACTUAL friends and wasting time on some guy. It's been relentless, 'Rodrick this, Rodrick that.' It's the same thing every week, we talk about how you're gonna face your fears. I get it, you're afraid of abandonment, but I'm reconsidering everything we've talked about. It's exhausting. Let me know when the real Val comes back..."
And then she's gone.

I barely have time to call out her name before my eyes start to well up. I just run to the parking lot so I can get home as soon as possible. I finally make it outside and frantically search for my car.

As you can tell by now, I'm one clumsy motherfucker. This is reiterated when I run directly into Rodrick. Out of all people. Talk about plot convenience. This is embarrassing.

"Ow!" We both yell out.
"S-sorry.." I try and get out of his way as fast as possible, he CANNOT watch me cry.
"Wait, what's going on?" He asks. He grabs my arm. "What's wrong?"
I can't just brush it off now, it's too late. I quickly wipe away the tears and sniff.
"I just- sorry. I just got into a pretty bad fight with Anya. We've always been really close friends so it kind of shocked me. I know it's stupid, sorry.." I try to leave again.
"Hey, wait." He blocks me "It's okay, that's not stupid."
"Eh it kind of is" I say.
"Well, what was it that you got into a fight about?" He asks.

"It's nothing, she's just upset that I've been acting different ever since-" I start to blurt out, but catch myself. Imagine.

"Since..?" He tries to get the rest out of me.
"It's just.. something really personal..." I go quiet. Thinking about it gets me to start tearing up again and now I'm sniffling. I can't even hide it. I shouldn't have let it get so far, now Anya might not ever talk to me again and it's all for nothing. It's all because I'm a coward and make bad decisions.

"Oh..." Rodrick looks like a lost puppy who doesn't know what to do. The most he can attempt is wordlessly grab me into an embrace. I'm too sad to even think about it and I just hug him back. I need this. I choke out some weak sobs, but I wish it would stop.

"Hey, hey it'll be okay. You guys are friends. I'm sure it'll blow over, whatever it is." He sighs and gently strokes my back "I know I couldn't stay mad at Ben or Chris forever, that'd be no fun."
He tries to make me feel better. It works a little bit.
I laugh "Thanks, Rodrick." I wipe my eyes again and step back.

"No problem, Red" he smiles at me.

Oh no. We're making awkward silent eye contact again. Can we just have one day where we don't do this?? Well, it's mostly silent, not counting my sniffles.

It's even worse now because this is YET ANOTHER reminder of how hard it is for me to get over him. The universe is so cruel. And Rodrick's eyes are so pretty.

"Hey, maybe after I'm done practicing for the talent show today, we can hang later?" He asks suddenly. "I mean, if you're up for it. I understand if you need some space."

"I'd love to" I beam at him. "Just call me when you can" I say and I start to walk away.
"Will do." I'm not facing him anymore, but I can hear his smile.

I feel a whole lot better, I can barely even remember what was upsetting me.