Romanogers

Chapter 4 - Who are you?

Natashas POV:

I was sitting on my bed, That fight with Steve was intense . I new I liked him maybe  even more than that. But he didn't  need me, I was a mess.  I needed to get him out of my mind, I was trying to convince myself to go out to a bar and get a drink but I was too  tired. I hadn't slept  in days. I tried to sleep less as possible as I got flashbacks and  memories from the red room. I managed  to keep my memories  in control  in the day as I would keep myself  distracted  but at night there was noting from stoping me thinking about them. Clint made me go to the doctors  ages ago to see if there was something  that  would stop it but apparently  its just something  I have to over come myself . The scientific name  is PTSD and Clint was the only one who new about It and it was going to stay that way. I hated people worrying about me.

I finally decided I need some sleep and walked over to my closest  to get changed. I got into my sweets and grabbed my handcuffs. I always cuffed my hands before I went to sleep, it was another habit from the red-room. Also I had had a few problems in the past of me ripping  my bed shits and strangling myself while sleeping so It was just easer to cuff my hands. 

Steves POV:

I was in shock, I new she had a bad past but I never new she felt like that. I was mad she thought I was that perfect , i wasn't . I had made my mistakes , many mistakes. '

I checked the time an hour had past it read 4:34 AM. I new I wouldn't be able to sleep now and even if I did I would have to get up in an hour anyway so I decided to go to the training room. After we moved into the safe house we turned the garage into a training room. It was cold when I walked in, i felt a shiver down my spine but It didn't  distract  me. Just as I was about to start punching  the pushing  bag i heard a scream . I new who it was at once. I ran out of the garage  into the house and straight  up the stairs . I heard the scream  again, it was the sort of scream that you hear  in horror movies it was horrible. 

"NATASHA'

I was pounding  on her door

" NAT WAKE UP"

She didn't  reply All I could here was screaming  and her mumbling  things  in Russian and english.

"I have no place in this world... I have... mne net... Mne net mesta v etom mire"

I bust through her door making a crash

"NAT"

She was crying and sweating, her hands were cuffed to her bed post cutting her hands raw and blood was dripping  down her arms. 

"WAKE UP NAT"

I yelled while breaking her cuffs open. I grabbed her hands holding them and lifted  up her body pressing it hard into mind. She was still sweating but she wasn't  crying as bad just mumbling  things.

"Nat your safe" '

I whispered  in her ear and I held her in my arms. I felt her wake up as she dug her head into my chest . I felt her heart beating she it was horrible to watch her, I hatted seeing her like this. 

"Im... I.. Im sorry " 

She whispered  into my shoulder . I kissed her temple, 

"never be sorry"

This isn't  the first time I had seen her like this. Normally it wasn't as bed as this a Clint would take care of it, I never new what was happing I would normally hear a small scream  and Clint would run up. The next morning we would never ask and Clint nor natasha would never talk about it so I didn't  think much into it. I never knew it could be this bad.

(sorry for the short chapter will update soon)