Unlovable

Eleven

~Isabel~

"Don't you, don't you smile at me and ask me how I've been." - Taylor Swift

~~~

Dreams did not find Isabel in her sleep that night.
No, but what she did find, was serenity.
Nothing but the calm whisperings of the dark and the beautiful warmth of him that surrounded her.

She welcomed the arm that hung loose on her shoulder, and the small movements of his stomach as he soundly slept next to her.

This.
This was what peace felt like, something Isabel hadn't felt in years.

It was something about the way Will spoke to her, decadently and soft, but without pity.

He spoke to her as if she were an actual human being. Not someone who's been through a truamatic incident, or had a painful past.
Deep down, she knew he felt sorry for her, but if she didn't have the brain capacity to overthink, then she would definitely believe he had not but an ounce of sorrow for her in his system.

Because of that, for the first time in years, Isabel felt excited to wake up. She had something to look forward to.

But when she awoke that morning, the smile on her face quickly frowned as she felt no remaing warmth from him.

The only sign Will slept in the same bed as her, were the ruffled covers hanging loose off the bed. The entire left side of Isabel's bed was cold, as though he'd been gone for hours.

Why was she upset? He wasn't her boyfriend. He's barely a friend.
Why did she even let him sleep over, as if she couldn't control her own feelings enough to tell him to leave?

God, Isabel. Why are you always ao vulnerable? Urged her instincts.

You both fell asleep. Nothing happened, just sleep, said her common sense.

You could have kicked him out. You did this to yourself, her instincts, again.

The war between Common Sense and Instinct continued to rage, and had been for years. It often caused confliction, deflection, confusion, and pain.

But, any war causes pain, right?
Whether it's mental or physical, something, someone, always pays the price. This time it happened to be Isabel who paid it, in confliction and insecurity.

Will caused her confliction, and Avery caused her insecurity.

She had no timeline of this war. Not of how long it would last, or what the outcome, if any, would be.

For now, she'd shove it in her mind and hope for the best.

But, why did he leave?
He left without even saying goodbye, and from what Isabel could see, which was nothing at the moment, he didn't leave any trace of his coming or going.

She sat up in her bed and put on her glasses. They somehow got put on her nightstand where she always left them. Though, she didn't remember taking them off, so someone must have taken them off and put them there for her.

She scanned the room once again, now able to see, and still saw no trace of him.

She sighed and walked to her dresser and picked out some clothes for the day. A t-shirt and sweats.
No, mom jeans.

For one day, she would try to look decent.

She put on her clothes and headed for the bathroom. She brushed her teeth, and then her hair.